Melvin Ishtar: American Idol
by GhostFairy
Summary: Abridged personalities. Just like the title says. Melvin tries out for American Idol. Bakura gets dragged along. Co-written with Dynamite and Soup.
1. The Audition

**The most evil psychopath the world has ever seen is about to make your worst nightmare come true: he's trying out for American Idol! This is written by me and Dynamite and Soup. It uses the abridged personalities. If you hate it, don't tell us.**

**We don't own Yu-Gi-Oh. Yu-Gi-Oh is owned by Kazuki Takahashi and the abridged series was created by LittleKuriboh. We also don't own American Idol.**

* * *

Melvin's POV

You're weak. You can barely suppress me at this point. Just get a little angrier. You know you need to. Give into the anger. Let me take over. Let me out, Marik. LET. ME. OUT.

3rd person POV

Melvin had done it again. Marik ended up a little too angry and got pushed over the edge, unwillingly allowing his imaginary friend to take control of his body.

The spirit of the Millenium Ring hadn't thought poking a little fun at Marik would make him this riled up, but it did, and now he had to take care of his alternate personality.

"So... um.. Melvin.." Bakura stammered. "Now that you've successfully taken control of whiny little Marik, what are you going to do now?"

Melvin thought for a minute. He wasn't entirely sure what he should do. He looked at the tv. Then he got (in his mind) an amazing idea. "Florence, I shall become the next American Idol!"

Melvin and Bakura were then in a limo, headed for the Las Vegas auditions.

"So, how again did you get this limo, Melvin?" Bakura inquired.

Melvin gave his trademark evil laugh. "AHAHAHA! Silly Florence, the driver is a Steve! I need to make an entrance, and what better way to do so than pull up in a limousine!"

"Aah, yes... of course. But why are you bringing me along?"

"Obviously I need someone to watch and document my progress, so the world will know of my greatness!"

"I see..." The limousine pulled into the designated parking lot for auditioners.

The line for getting your number was at least 3 miles long, and needless to say, Melvin wasn't going to wait that long. It took him about 20 minutes to give all of those in line a hug, which ultimately destroyed their entire beings. The carnage lasted for hours, leaving the Las Vegas police stunned as to how it got there. Eventually Melvin and Bakura had signed him in and they were waiting outside the door to the audition room.

A fellow named Ryan Seacrest tried to be friendly to them, but when he saw Melvin's face, he headed for the hills. This made Melvin excited, causing his face to become veiny and twisted.

"Ha! That binky-boy never saw it coming!"

"Yes, quite," Bakura lazily replied.

"Oh, come on, Florence! I'm about to come face to face with one of the greatest evils known to man, Simon Cowell!"

"Uh, Melvin, Simon Cowell isn't on the show anymore."

"...WHAT!" Melvin was livid.

"Yes, he was replaced by some rockstar named Steven Tyler."

"Well what do you know. Looks like this audition will be easier than expected, what with a Steve I can control on the judging panel."

Just as he said that, a teenage girl ran out of the audition room crying and screaming about how idiotic the judges were. Then on the loudspeaker, Melvin and Bakura heard:

"Next up, Melvin Ishtar."

"We'll knock em dead Melvin. Metaphorically, of course!"

"We shall see Florence. We shall see... AHAHAHAHA!" Melvin yelled as he entered the room with purple shadows billowing around him, as Bakura followed behind at a safe distance.

As soon as Bakura stepped into the room, purple and black smoke swirled around him. Melvin had taken this audition to the Shadow Realm.

"Florence,keep the camera rolling. I think the cameraman just died from asphyxiation." Melvin said. Bakura rolled his eyes, but did as he was told because he didn't feel like getting in a fight with Melvin. Especially while they were in the shadow realm.

Melvin started to sing 'Villain'(It's on cardgamesftw's channel on youtube, go listen to it if you haven't heard it!)

When Melvin finished, the judges had mixed reactions. J. Lo looked absolutely terrified. Randy didnt seem to know what to think. Steven Tyler had a vacant look in his eyes due to Melvin controlling him.

J. Lo tried to speak but, no words came out.

"I think we should let him on the show," Melvin spoke through Steven.

Randy shook his head and came to his senses. "Yeah, I agree with Steven. This guy may have the talent we're looking for this season."

J. Lo remained petrified as Randy handed Melvin his ticket to Hollywood.

"Yes!" Melvin cackled. "Now, Florence, sing!"

"What, why?"

"Because you're going to Hollywood, too!" Melvin laughed evilly.

"No way."

"Sing," Steven Tyler commanded.

Randy and Steven chanted for him to sing.

Bakura muttered something unintelligible and began to sing. When he was done, Bakura walked up to the judges, took a pass to Hollywood, and stalked out of the room without hearing what the judges had to say.

Melvin laughed and swept out of the room, the darkness of the Shadow Realm following him.


	2. Hollywood Week Part 1

**Here's chapter 2! Sorry about the typos in the last chapter. I checked this one twice, so I hope there aren't any. If you like the story, please review!**

**We don't own Yu-Gi-Oh, American Idol, the songs used in this fic, or anything else you recognize.**

* * *

Back at the Melvin-Cave!

"Now, Florence, little Marik is going to retake control soon, so I need you to piss him off the day before Hollywood Week starts, so that we can get there in time."

"And if I don't?"

Melvin whipped out the Millennium Rod and the light saber inside it was released.

"Do I need to spell it out for you binky-boy?"

*3 weeks later*

"AHAHAHAHA! It feels great to be let out again, Florence! How did you get Marik so angry in a matter of minutes!"

"Oh, I just insulted his way of dressing like a girl 24/7."

"Oh... I see.. actually, I enjoy these midriff shirts he picked out. Lavender isn't exactly my color though. I would choose something much more evil! Like chartreuse!"

"Of course you would."

"I don't need lip from Marik's kitty. Now, its time we got to Hollywood for the next round of auditions. To the Steve-Mobile!"*Batman transition music*

Marik and Bakura got out of the Steve-driven limo and were standing outside the Pasadena Civic Center. They were about to walk in when they heard a strange noise.

"Did you hear that!" Bakura whisper-yelled to Melvin.

"Ah, so I wasn't imagining things" was Melvin's reply.

They took one look at each other and booked it inside. They sound they heard was a high pitched screech from a distance. The sound came from none other than...

A deranged Fan-Girl.

"Do... you think... she... followed us?" Bakura panted. They had just ran for their lives and needed to take a break in the corridor outside the auditorium entrance.

"I... would hope not, Florence." Melvin replied, him catching his breath as well."The only thing that nearly equals my evil and insanity levels is a fan-girl that's flown off the handlebars."

They heard a large resounding boom, not unlike that of a small bomb go off in a room nearby.

"I think you may want to rethink that, Melvin" Bakura snickered.

What walked out of the 'boom room' was a girl in her teens, with black and green hair sticking up in the same way Melvin's was. She saw Melvin and stomped up to him.

"How DARE you steal my hair style! I was planning on standing out with ridiculous hair but now you had to go and steal my idea!"

Melvin gave an evil scowl at the girl and held the pointy end of the rod up to her throat.

"You're just asking for a hug at this point, you whore biscuit! And my hair is not ridiculous, it's naturally this beautiful!"

Just as he was about to stab her with the rod, a voice came over the loudspeaker.

"AT THIS TIME, WOULD ALL CONTESTANTS PLEASE ENTER THE AUDITORIUM."

"Punctuality, my Achilles heel... Well, it looks like you'll get to live another day. Come, Florence, it is time to sing!"

"Ugh... fine" Bakura followed Melvin into the auditorium, leaving the girl stunned and frozen.

While waiting outside the door to the auditorium, the two had another run in with the fangirl. It appeared that she was also a contestant. She gave them a smile.

"Hi," she waved. Melvin made a mental note to kill her off as fast as possible. Bakura shuddered.

The door to the auditorium opened and all the hopefuls filed inside.

They took their seats in the middle section, and after about ten minutes the judges came into the room and stood in front of their chairs at their table.

"Welcome to Hollywood Week!" Randy exclaimed. The crowd of around 150 auditioners cheered. Bakura just sat there with a scowl on his face. Melvin was in hysterics.

"Its now time for your acapella auditions," J. Lo continued. "You will come up on stage when we call your name and sing a song of your choosing."

"Once everyone on stage has sung, we will either tell you to take a step forward or a step back. We'll then say which line moves on to group rounds, and which line goes home." Steven Tyler finished.

"So are we ready!" All three judges yelled. The crowd cheered once more, except this time Melvin was maniacally laughing to himself. Upon hearing this, Bakura became fearful as to what would happen next.

They were going in order of the auditions, so because Las Vegas was the last audition stop, and Melvin and Bakura were the last auditioners to get tickets to Hollywood(partly because Melvin murdered everyone else), they were going to be in the last group to go. After waiting nearly two hours, there was finally only 5 people left to audition.

"Apollo Reverson." A guy with a black eye and blond hair walked up on stage. He looked really tired.

"Trisha Yeller." A girl dressed in all pink with high pigtails pranced up on stage. Melvin and Bakura recognized her as the deranged fangirl and internally freaked out.

"Stella Celatum." The girl with Melvin's hair walked up on stage. Apparently, Melvin had just missed killing her at the Vegas auditions, and he was regretting not getting there earlier.

He also regretted not killing the Trisha and Apollo. Especially Trisha. Then he and Bakura would have been the only ones from the Vegas auditions.

"Melvin Ishtar." Melvin stood up from his seat and confidently strutted to his place on stage. Trisha gave him a creepy smile.

"And lastly, Bakura... wait, what's your last name?"

"I don't bloody have one!" Bakura snapped as he walked up on stage, looking extremely annoyed.

"Um, ok..." Randy said. "Apollo, you can start when you're ready."

Apollo started to sing "Fireflies" by Owl City. He sounded mediocre, and the judges didn't look to happy when he was done.

"Alright," J. Lo said. "Trisha, when you're ready."

Trisha sang "Fall For You" by Secondhand Serenade. She was pretty good, and the judges gave her optimistic smiles at the end of her song.

"That was good, darling." J. Lo said with a smile.

"Ok, Stella. You're up." Steven said.

She started to sing "Stereo Hearts" by Gym Class Heroes and Adam Levine. The judges were amazed at how well she could pull it off without any music, and now Melvin wanted to show her up for being such a jerk to him earlier.

"Melvin, go ahead."

Melvin didn't realize it was his turn already. He sang "Helena"by MCR. He picked the song because he liked how it involved death. The judges were awestruck by the performance. Melvin didn't even control Steven Tyler, but at the end of his song he gave him a standing ovation. Melvin gave his trademark evil smirk, and then Randy said "Bakura, your turn."

Bakura gave a scowl, but he still sang. He gave a surprising performance of "No Love" by Simple Plan. The judges (and Melvin) didn't expect him to be that good, and Bakura didn't really expect it either. They all gave him encouraging smiles when he was done, but he just gave a sneer.

"Just give us a few minutes now," J. Lo told the contestants.

The judges whispered amongst themselves and looked at the contestants in turn.

After a couple of minutes of waiting on stage, Randy said "I'm sorry, Apollo, you didn't make it." The sleepy teen looked like he was about to cry, and he ran off the stage.

"Ok, now to get down to business," J. Lo said. "Trisha, step forward."

"And Melvin, step forward." The judges gave a dramatic pause. It seemed to last forever for Melvin. How could he rule the world if he couldn't accomplish something as meager as becoming the next American Idol?

"Ok," Randy finally said. "Back row...you're through! Front row..."

Melvin took out his Millennium Rod and prepared to take over Steven Tyler.

"You are also through!"

The girls cheered, Bakura couldn't care less, and Melvin was outraged.

"No one messes with the great Melvin Ishtar and gets away with it! I shall have my revenge!" His face started to contort, but Bakura held him back and whispered

"You can't win this ridiculous show if the judges are obliterated, Melvin."

Melvin calmed down and angrily walked out of the auditorium with Bakura following behind. The rest of the contestants that had made it were also waiting in the hall.

"ATTENTION CONTESTANTS," the loud speaker sputtered. "COME BACK INTO THE AUDITORIUM TO ASSEMBLE YOUR GROUPS AND RECEIVE YOUR SONGS FOR THE GROUP ROUNDS."

"Ugh, this never ends!" Bakura whined.


	3. Hollywood Week Part 2

**Hollywood Week is taking longer than expected, so it's going to be 3 chapters instead of 2. Thanks to Darkspirityami for reviewing. Most of this chapter was written by Dynamite and Soup.**

**We do not own Yu-Gi-Oh, American Idol, any of the songs in this fic, or anything else you recognize.**

* * *

Melvin and Bakura went back into the auditorium and took their same seats in the center. After surveying the area, it appeared that about a fourth of the previous contestants had been sent home. They also noticed that groups of friends had formed.

"Oh, bugger..."

"Why so glum, binky-boy?"

"Well, while we were in here waiting for our turn to sing, everyone who had already gone was in the hall making friends and forming groups for this round of the competition."

"Well I'm sure we'll find someone to group with! I am the infallible Melvin Ishtar, after all!"

"No, I know that we will, but the problem is the only people that don't have a group are-"

"Hi guys!" Trisha the fangirl squealed. Stella was behind her looking unamused and irritated.

"Oh... them." Melvin said.

Stella scoffed at him.

"Sooo..." Trisha said after an awkward silence."We noticed you guys didn't have a group, and we're like the only ones who don't have one either so, um, wanna be a group?"

Trisha sounded nervous as Melvin and Stella were having a stare off. Bakura sighed.

"Well, there's no helping it. Looks like you're going to have to play nice for now, Melvin."

"Ugh. Fine. But this isn't over whore-biscuit!"

Stella gave a sneer.

"Well if it's settled," Trisha piped in. "Lets go get our song we're gonna sing!" She grabbed Bakura's arm to drag him over, but his skin started to burn and sizzle from her touch, so she was forced to release him. Fangirls had that effect on the extremely pretty.

Bakura led her over to the list of songs the groups could sing, leaving Stella and Marik to the continuation of their stare-down. It went on uninterrupted for a good 7 minutes before Bakura and Trisha came back.

Trisha looked overly excited and Bakura looked overly disgusted.

_This can't be good_, Melvin thought.

"WE'RE SINGING ALEJANDRO BY LADY GAGA!" Trisha screeched.

Melvin did a facepalm.

"Florence there's something I forgot to mention."

"And that would be?"

"I don't sing Lady Gaga."

Suddenly Melvin's hair smoothed out.

"BUT I DO, FLUFFY!" Marik yelled as he glomped Bakura. Bakura struggled to fight him off while Trisha was having a hard time resisting a nosebleed from all the implied thiefshipping going on. Stella was trying to comprehend how his hair smoothed out so easily when it took her a few low grade explosives to get hers to stand up like that.

"Marik! What the bloody hell are you doing out! And get the bugger off!"

"Improper use of the word 'bugger'!"

"Shut your bloody mouth!"

"Make me!"

Bakura roundhouse kicked Marik sending him flying a few rows back. "That should shut him up for now."

"Won't that send him to the hospital?" Trisha asked worriedly.

"We're children's anime characters. We heal amazingly fast as long as no one mentions our injuries."

Trisha gave herself a 'Duh!' look and Stella just said "Uhuh... I see..."

Marik came back over a little more calm and said he would explain to Bakura why he came out. At this Bakura snickered and said "Ah, you finally left the safety of your closet."

And at that Marik denied it and backhanded him hard and then continued. It turned out he knew that Melvin was doing American Idol, and he promised him he wouldn't take control in the middle of a song as long as he got to sing anything by Lady Gaga.

"So here I am! And I'm so pumped for this!" He exclaimed while taking off Melvin's trademark dark purple cloak.

"We should probably get started soon." Stella said with a sigh. She had no clue what was going on, and frankly, she didn't want to know.

"Yes! And I, Marik Sebastian Ishtar the Third, shall be the star of this performance!"

"Wanker."

Marik whipped around to face Bakura.

"I dare you to EFF!ing say that again!"

"Oh, I'm so scared! What are you gonna do, rearrange my sock drawer? Bloody tart."

"A-actually that'd be a good idea!" Trisha stammered.

"Rearranging sock drawers?"

Marik and Bakura said simultaneously.

"No! I mean Mel- er, Marik being the star for most of the song. We all have to sing a part as the star at some point, but if Marik does it for the most of it, we'd really stand out. He does have the most sass out of all of us."

Everyone agreed for once. They figured out which parts each would sing and then got down to the most exhausting and trivial part of the group rounds- the choreography. Marik kept wanting to do something involving getting his Steve army to come on stage and be their backup dancers, but much to his dismay everyone else heartily disagreed.

Finally ,they figured out how they would do it: the main singer in the front and the three backup singers in a horizontal line behind them. They would just do simple swaying for the most part because Trisha was feeling lightheaded after an epic nosebleed when Marik got a little too close to Bakura when showing him how to do a dance move.

"EFF!ing fangirls and their overactive imaginations." Marik muttered to himself.

"Tell me about it." Bakura replied.

Upon hearing this, Trisha formed an evil plan.

"Hey, Marik, you want to do an awesome job at this right?"

"Foolish-fool, of course I do! What kind of question is that?"

"Well in the song, the person is singing to a guy. I think you should sing that part to Bakura."

"But then we'd have to change the words to 'y'know I love you binky-boy, but platonically, of course. And it would be such a pity, not to pet the kitty!'" Marik actually sang the part amazingly in tune and it made Bakura burst out in maniacal laughter.

"Ugh, never mind" Trisha said annoyed.

After hours of practice, they figured they had it down and they went to their hotel rooms that American Idol provided for them around 2 AM. Much to Trisha's dismay, Marik and Bakura weren't sharing a room and were actually both on completely separate floors. After everyone's uneventful sleep, they got together at 9 to rehearse a few more times before they went on at 10:15

When it was time for them to go on, they went quietly into the auditorium, and waited for the judges to call their group name. Marik wanted them to be called 'The Rods' but when they all laughed at that idea, he came up with the name they would go as, and Bakura was overruled for the voting of the name.

"Would 'Fluffy and The Kitties' please take the stage?" Randy said.

Bakura trudged up the steps of the stage as the crowd of auditioners giggled at the name.

"Now, who's Fluffy?" J. Lo asked with a giggle.

Marik pointed an accusatory finger at Bakura and yelled out to everyone

"WHO DO YA THINK!"

The crowd laughed even harder, and Bakura had an overwhelming urge to kill. After their microphones were checked, they composed themselves and then the music started. Marik stepped forward at this point.

MARIK:

I know that we are young

And I know that you may love me

But I just can't be with you like this anymore

Alejandro

STELLA:

She's got both hands

In her pocket

And she won't look at you

(won't look at you)

She hides true love

En su bolsillo

She's got a halo around her finger

Around you!

TRISHA:

You know that I love you boy Hot like Mexico Rejoice

At this point I've gotta choose Nothing to lose

MARIK:

Don't call my name

Don't call my name

Alejandro

I'm not your babe

I'm not your babe

Fernando

Don't wanna kiss

Don't wanna touch

Just smoke my cigarette, hush

Don't call my name

Don't call my name

Roberto

ALL:

Alejandro

Alejandro

Ale-Alejandro

Ale-Alejandro

MARIK:

Stop Please, just let me go

Alejandro

Just let me go!

BAKURA:

She's not broken

She's just a baby

But her boyfriend's like her dad

Just like a dad

And all those flames that

Burned before him

Now he's gotta firefight

Gotta cool the bad!

STELLA:

You know that I love you boy Hot like Mexico Rejoice

At this point I've gotta choose

Nothing to lose

MARIK:

Don't call my name

Don't call my name

Alejandro

I'm not your babe

I'm not your babe

Fernando

Don't wanna kiss

Don't wanna touch

Just smoke my cigarette, hush

Don't call my name

Don't call my name

Roberto

ALL:

Alejandro

Alejandro

Ale-Alejandro

Ale-Alejandro

TRISHA:

Don't bother me

Don't bother me

Al-e-jan-dro

Don't call my name

Don't call my name

Bye Fernando

I'm not your babe

I'm not your babe

Alejandro

Don't wanna kiss

Don't wanna touch

Fernando

BAKURA:

Don't call my name

Don't call my name

Alejandro

MARIK:

I'm not your babe

I'm not your babe

Fernando

BAKURA:

Don't wanna kiss

MARIK:

Don't wanna touch

MARIK&BAKURA:

Just smoke my cigarette, hush

MARIK:

Don't call my name

Don't call my name

Roberto

ALL:

Alejandro

Alejandro

Ale-Alejandro

Ale-Alejandro

Once they were done, the crowd was in a huge uproar, and all three judges gave them a standing ovation, along with the rest of the crowd. Randy picked up his microphone and yelled "All four of you are moving on!"

Once they were in the aisle of the auditorium heading out to the hallway, the girls were hugging each other and jumping up and down, while Marik jumped on Bakura's back and demanded a piggy back ride out of the auditorium. At this, Bakura elbowed him fiercely in the gut, and left him writhing in pain on the floor.

"Is it ok to leave him there?" Stella asked in a monotone voice.

"I already told you, he'll heal fast."

"Not that, I mean that someone might trip and fall over him."

"Serves him right for coming up with that ridiculous team name."

* * *

**Dynamite and Soup has a message for everyone:**

**Greetings readers! I'm your friendly neighborhood... never mind. Dynamite and Soup here! This is my first ever fanfic, and I'm really thankful for the subscribers we've gotten for this story!(seriously I love you all) That being said, I'd really appreciate some feedback on the story to see how its coming out! You don't have to if you don't want to, but if theres something you like (or think needs improvement) let us know! We won't bite... Well, we might, but only if we haven't been fed. Have an awesome day people!  
ps~ dont tell ghostfairy but THIEFSHIPPING FTW!**


	4. Hollywood Week Part 3

**The final chapter of Hollywood Week! Thanks to everyone who reviewed!**

**We do not own Yu-Gi-Oh, American Idol, the songs used in this fic, or anything else you recognize.**

* * *

Marik stood up, but he wasn't exactly Marik. His hair was sticking up at unnatural angles. Melvin was back.

"Now that that's over, I've returned! Ahahaha!" Melvin said. "Where's my cape?"

Bakura walked back into the auditorium without saying anything. Melvin followed and they took their seats once again. It didn't look like too many contestants had gone home.

Melvin found a few contestants fighting over his cape and walked over to kill them. However, J. Lo gave him a suspicious look so Melvin was forced to take the cape back with as little violence as possible.

That being said, there were still a few broken bones.

"Okay, everyone. Now it's time for the duet rounds!" J. Lo announced. "We will be pairing you up with someone else!"

In response to this, there was quite a lot of groaning.

"You can all take an hour break. Then we will have posted who is working with. After that, we're done for today," Randy told the contestants. "Tomorrow you perform the song together."

"So who do you want to be working with, binky-boy?" Melvin asked as they exited the auditorium.

"I don't care as long as it isn't that bloody fangirl."

When they finally got back to the auditorium, Bakura's worst fears were confirmed. He was working with Trisha. Melvin was working with Stella.

"Why do we always get stuck with them?" Bakura grumbled.

"Bakura!" Trisha came running over and grabbed him. This caused Bakura's skin to sizzle again.

"No, I am not doing this!" Bakura yelled. Trisha dragged him away.

* * *

"What song are we going to sing?" Stella asked.

"Anything but Lady Gaga. There was enough of that last time. Preferably something violent would be good," Melvin cackled.

"Um...ok." Stella took out a laptop and searched for duets.

* * *

"Let's pick a love song!" Trisha squealed. Bakura groaned.

"No, I told you I'm not doing this."

"But you'll get kicked out of the competition!"

"I don't bloody care!"

At that point, Bakura was extremely fed up. He wasn't dealing with Trisha any longer. He lowered his head.

A few moments later, he said in an unusually high voice, "Tea and crumpets, where am I?" Bakura had replaced himself with Ryou.

"Can you tell me what's going on?" he asked.

Trisha stared at him blankly. However, she realized the sudden change in Bakura's personality could work to her advantage.

"We're singing a song for a competition. This song, actually..."

* * *

"Can you at least help me find a song?"

"At this moment, I have every Steve in a five mile radius looking into it for us. So I am helping," Melvin stood up. "And if you screw up this round, I will personally murder you, whore biscuit."

Stella gulped.

All the contestants were awake and back in the auditorium by 10:00 the next day. Some looked well rested, while others looked as if they hadn't slept at all. Which was probably true.

Ryou and Trisha were going about halfway through, while Melvin and Stella would perform closer to the end.

Each group went and it was easy to see who didn't live up to the judges expectations. Finally, it was time for Trisha and Ryou to go.

"We're, like, going to sing Need You Now by Lady Antebellum," Trisha announced.

TRISHA:

Picture perfect memories, scattered all around the floor

Reaching for the phone, 'cause I can't fight it any more

And I wonder if I ever cross your mind

For me, it happens all the time

BOTH:

It's a quarter after one, I'm all alone and I need you now

Said I wouldn't call, but I've lost all control and I need you now

And I don't know how I can do without, I just need you now

RYOU:

Another shot of whiskey, can't stop lookin' at the door

Wishing you'd come sweepin' in the way you did before

And I wonder if I ever cross your mind

For me, it happens all the time

BOTH:

It's a quarter after one, I'm a little drunk and I need you now

Said I wouldn't call, but I've lost all control and I need you now

And I don't know how I can do without, I just need you now

TRISHA:

Whoa-oh-whoa

Guess I'd rather hurt than feel nothin' at all

BOTH:

It's a quarter after one, I'm all alone and I need you now

And I said I wouldn't call, but I'm a little drunk and I need you now

And I don't know how I can do without, I just need you now

I just need you now

Oh, baby, I need you now

When they finished, everyone was smiling and cheering. Ryou and Trisha would be continuing on in the competition.

Since he was done working with Trisha, Bakura decided it was time to switch places with Ryou.

Unfortunately, as soon as he took over, Trisha decided to hug Bakura. It did not go over well for either of them.

After listening to a few more duets, it was time for Stella and Melvin to perform. They made quite a statement on stage with their matching hairstyles.

STELLA:

Oh baby baby, Oh baby baby

Oh baby baby, how was I supposed to know

That something wasn't right here

Oh baby baby, I shouldn't have let you go

And now you're out of sight, yeah

Show me how you want it to be

Tell me baby 'cause I need to know now

Oh, because

BOTH:

My loneliness is killing me (and I)

I must confess I still believe (still believe)

When I'm not with you I lose my mind

Give me a sign

Hit me baby one more time!

MELVIN:

Oh baby, baby, the reason I breathe is you

Boy you've got me blinded

Oh pretty baby, there's nothing that I wouldn't do

It's not the way I planned it

Show me how you want it to be

Tell me baby 'cause I need to know now

Oh, because

BOTH:

My loneliness is killing me (and I)

I must confess I still believe (still believe)

When I'm not with you I lose my mind

Give me a sign,

Hit me baby one more time!

Oh baby baby, how was I supposed to know?

Oh pretty baby, I shouldn't have let you go

MELVIN:

I must confess that my loneliness

Is killing me now

Don't you know I still believe

That you will be here

And give me a sign

Hit me baby one more time!

STELLA:

My loneliness is killing me (and I)

I must confess I still believe (still believe)

When I'm not with you I lose my mind

Give me a sign,

Hit me baby one more time!

BOTH:

I must confess (my loneliness)

That my loneliness (is killing me)

Is killing me now (I must confess)

Don't you know I still believe (still believe)

That you will be here (I'm losing my mind)

And give me a sign

Hit me baby one more time!

Once they were finished, everyone sat in stunned silence. Nobody knew if they should clap or do anything at all.

"You two are both going through!" Steven Tyler yelled through his microphone after a few moments of quiet. Randy and J. Lo nodded their agreement.

Melvin walked back to his seat, satisfied.

By the time all the duets had finished, about 50 contestants still remained.

"You all have almost made it through Hollywood Week!" J. Lo told everyone. The room erupted into cheers. "However, there is one more part." The room went silent.

"In order to get to the top 24, more than half of you will be going home," Steven Tyler explained.

"Each one of you will be called into the auditorium one at a time and then will sing. After that, we decide your fate," Randy said.

Everyone went out of the auditorium.

"What are you going to sing, Melvin?" Bakura asked.

"Something amazing, of course!"

"Well I suppose it can't be any worse than that song you just sang."

"What was bad about that? It is one of the most evil songs known to man! My Steves found it for us!"

"That explains everything."

"Trisha Yeller, please come into the auditorium," the loudspeaker announced. Trisha walked in.

"I hope they send her home," Bakura muttered.

About five minutes later, Trisha came bouncing out of the room.

"I MADE IT!" she screamed and went flying off down the hall. Bakura swore a few times.

"Cheer up, binky-boy! You can annihilate her live!" Melvin laughed.

"Yes, I suppose that is an option..."

After hours of waiting (and watching many people run out crying or cheering), Bakura was up.

Bakura walked into the auditorium. It was dead quiet. The judges looked at Bakura expectantly.

Bakura sang a song. No one knew what it was, but it sounded in tune. He was amazing. It was so beautiful, Steven Tyler was reduced to tears.

"From the first time we met you, you have done nothing but amaze us," J. Lo said. She wiped tears from her eyes. "Fluffy, you are going live!"

Bakura stalked out of the auditorium. Melvin met him at the door.

"Weren't you supposed to wait outside the door?" Bakura said.

"Pfft! I am Melvin Ishtar! I do what I want and no one stops me! Ahahaha!"

"Whatever."

"So what was that song all about, Florence?"

"I heard Ryou humming it earlier and thought it sounded ok, so I looked up the lyrics while we were waiting and sang it. Problem?"

"No, I was just thinking how well the name 'Fluffy' suits you after hearing that performance."

One hour later, it was Melvin's turn to go. Melvin confidently went in front of the judges and began to sing.

Yeah, yeah

When I walk on by, girls be looking like "Run, it's him!"

I kill to the beat, laughing down the street with my new mind slave, yeah

This is how I roll, stealing minds to control

It's Marik's dark side delivering a crushing blow

And like The Millennium Items I got the glow

Girl, look at that psycho

Girl, look at that psycho

Girl, look at that psycho

I work out

Girl, look at that psycho

Girl, look at that psycho

Girl, look at that psycho

I work out

When I walk in the spot, this is what I see

Everybody screams and they runnin' from me

I got a chainsaw in my hands and I ain't afraid to show it, show it, show it, show it...

I'm evil and I know it

I'm evil and I know it

When I'm at the mall, security just can't fight me off

And when I'm at the beach, I'm hunting with the sharks, (soul)

This is how I roll, stealing minds to control

We headed to Shadow Realm, Florence don't be nervous

Violence, murder, and you still have time for fanservice, (soul)

Girl, look at that psycho

Girl, look at that psycho

Girl, look at that psycho

I work out

Girl, look at that psycho

Girl, look at that psycho

Girl, look at that psycho

I work out

When I walk in the spot, this is what I see

Everybody screams and they runnin' from me

I got a chainsaw in my hands and I ain't afraid to show it, show it, show it, show it...

I'm evil and I know it

I'm evil and I know it

Check it out

Check it out

Stab, stab, stab, stab, stab yeah

Stab, stab, stab, stab, stab yeah

Stab, stab, stab, stab, stab yeah

Stab, stab, stab, stab, stab, yeah yeah

Do the stab, man

I do the stab, man, yeah

I'm evil and I know it

Girl, look at that psycho

Girl, look at that psycho

Girl, look at that psycho

I work out

Girl, look at that psycho

Girl, look at that psycho

Girl, look at that psycho

I work out

I'm evil and I know it

The judges were quiet.

"See, I told you guys! He's the new talent we're looking for this season," Randy said.

"Exactly!" Steven Tyler exclaimed. "He took the song, and made it his own. That's what an American Idol does."

J. Lo was quiet. During the song, she had been filled with fear. Since Randy and Steven had already said yes, she didn't bother to throw in her opinion.

Melvin cackled and strode out of the auditorium. He met up with Bakura immediately.

"We're going live, binky-boy!"

* * *

**Sorry that most of that was lyrics. There probably won't be another chapter like this with so many lyrics. Thanks for reading!**


	5. The Test

**Thank you to everyone who reviewed! It's time for the filler chapter! But it's still funny.**

**Seriously. It is.**

**Okay, it's kind of short. Sorry.**

**We do not own Yu-Gi-Oh, American Idol, the songs used in this fic or anything else you recognize.**

* * *

*2 months later*

The last part of Hollywood Week was now being played on the show, and throughout Hollywood Week Melvin was getting a lot of screen time. There was still a few more weeks until the show went live though, so Melvin and Bakura were sitting on the couch at Marik's house watching it.

Bakura lived next door to Marik, so every Tuesday night when American Idol came on, Melvin took control and dragged Bakura over to watch it.

Melvin was yelling about how incredible he looked on tv when suddenly the phone rang. Melvin picked it up and heard somebody ask for him.

"This is Melvin Ishtar, binky-boy. What the hell do you want? I'm trying to watch myself be amazing on the television!"

"Mr. Ishtar, it has come to the attention of the American Idol staff that you are not a citizen if the United States. This being 'American' Idol, normally you would be asked to leave the show. However, due to the fact that you have become a fan-favorite, we've come up with a solution so the viewers won't become upset. We propose that you take a citizenship test that we've prepared for you so you can stay on the show. Will you do it?"

"Well, if it's the only way I guess I have no choice." He was given directions to the place of the test and hung up the phone.

"Ok, Florence, looks like its time for some citizenshipping!"

Bakura did a spit take with his tea."Some WHAT!"

"The man on the phone said he wanted me to citizenship. Do you know who I'm supposed to ship with because I haven't a clue."

"No, Melvin it means that you need to take a written test to become a citizen."

"Ohhh. Well that makes a lot more sense."

The next day, a Steve dropped off Melvin and Bakura at the place the test would be. As they were walking up the steps of the big gray building, a boy their age wearing a black and yellow striped shirt was stomping out of it.

"It's not fair!" The boy whined." I thought disguising myself as a bee would help me to pass!"

"Aww, does someone need a hug?" Melvin chided.

"Yeah, actually I do!"

All the police found of the boy was his patella, his mandible, and the bee cosplay that he loved so dearly.

Melvin and Bakura walked into the building where they were greeted by two men in black suits.

"Mr. Ishtar?" Melvin nodded. "Then the other one must be Bakura. You both have to go take the citizenship test right away."

"Wait, why me?" Bakura asked.

"A background test revealed that you too are not a legal citizen of the United States."

"Oh, bugger."

Melvin and Bakura were each led down a hall and into two separate rooms.

Melvin sat down in a chair. The test administrator came in. His name was Steve.

"This is going to be a lot easier than I thought," Melvin cackled and took out the Millennium Rod.

Meanwhile, Bakura was preparing to take his test. He tried to figure out why he was a citizen of the U.S. Then he remembered. His citizenship was under Ryou. According to the U.S., he didn't exist.

The administrator came in. She was dressed in all pink and had high pigtails.

It was Trisha.

"Okay, let's get started," she said, not realizing she was going to be testing Bakura. Then she looked up. "OMG, Bakura! I didn't know you would be here!"

"What the bloody hell are you doing here?"

"Well, I've been working here since before American Idol started, duh! I'm a test administrator person thingy! Anyway, I guess we should get started on your test. I'm sure you'll pass! Okay, first question. When is the last day you can send in federal income tax forms?"

"What kind of question is that?"

"One on the test, silly! Your answer?"

"Uh...Tuesday?"

* * *

Melvin was breezing through his test without much trouble. He controlled Steve and made him write down the correct answer. There was a problem with question 4, though. Steve didn't know the answer.

"Curses, stupid mind slave! You test people on this question daily and you still don't know the answer! Rrrg. Now how an I supposed to have a flawless test?"

Steve said nothing.

"Aghh! I should kill you for this! How many years is a senator elected for?

Steve still said nothing.

"I have an insatiable urge to hug someone now."

* * *

"In what month do we vote for President?"

Bakura's test was not going too well. He was on his seventh question and had no clue if he was close to passing at all.

Bakura thought about the question. There were twelve months, right? So that left a lot of options...He was fairly certain that the voting took place sometime in the fall...

Trisha started to hum the Jeopardy! theme music.

"Would you please shut up?"

"Sorry. For that, now you only have 10 seconds left to answer! 9, 8, 7..."

"Ahhh! November?"

Trisha wrote down the answer and continued on to the next question.

* * *

Melvin was still on question 4 and about 15 seconds from killing Steve.

"Steve, if you don't remember in the next 6 seconds..."

Steve's hand wrote down the number.

"What! That wasn't- if that was wrong, you're spending eternity in the Shadow Realm! On to question 5!"

A little while later, both were done with their tests and waiting for the results.

"Well, that was rather annoying," Melvin commented.

"Yes, 10 questions that I knew nothing about. And the bloody fangirl was my test administrator."

"I only had 6 questions. And a Steve to use! It was easy!"

Just then, Trisha and Steve came up to them.

"Yay! You two both pass! And Melvin with a perfect score! Now go down that hall! There's a bunch of fun papers for you to fill out!" Trisha squealed. Once again, she tried to hug Bakura. He went flying off down the hall.

After a few more hours, they became legal citizens of the United States. Apparently, it would have taken longer, but American Idol had pushed for them to become citizens immediately.

A Steve picked them up from the gray building. On the way home, they passed a cemetery. There was a memorial service for the bee boy, even though he had only been dead for five hours at most. Melvin got out of the car to go slaughter everyone, but unfortunately, he fell into oncoming traffic.

Instead of the people at the service, Melvin was forced to utterly destroy a car that almost ran over him.

He also killed the Steve who was driving for not stopping before Melvin tried to get out of the car. Bakura and Melvin were forced to walk home the rest of the way.

Bakura suddenly facepalmed.

"What is it, Florence?"

"I just realized. If I had failed that test, I wouldn't still be on that bloody show. I could've been done with it."

* * *

**Message from Dynamite and Soup:**

**Greetings readers! Much to your dismay, the Explosive Edible Liquid is back! Wow, that sounded wrong... Moving on, my apologies to those who reviewed and are just getting my thank-you pm's now. I was away, ff mobile wasnt cooperating, I got sunburnt... blah blah blah I'm a bad person. **

**Melvin: A COMRADE! AHAHAHA! **

**... Anyways thanks to all those reviews and reviewers! They are very inspiring and I appreciate them all very much! I also gave a giggle when we were asked to get a move on with chapter 5. Thank you, annoymous guest person, I hope this chapter made you happy! It made me happy. Most of the credit goes to GhostFairy, I only wrote up to the bee boy[OWNED BY LITTTLEKURIBOH] part and did very little editing. *claps for ghostfairy* **

**Trisha: Imma hug herrrrrr!**

**NO WAIT! **

**and shes gone. GhostFairy doesnt take too kindly to hugs, but she does enjoy cheese!**

**Now down to business,**

**CITIZENSHIPPING.**

**I checked the shippers list, and its not an actual pairing, but i bet if it was it would have something to do with Bandit Keith. But then again, according to the abbridged series he's Canadian... For the sake of this fic, maybe it would be him and Bee Boy because they both wanted to be American but they aren't... Lets make that a pairing. Bandit Keith and Bee Boy. Ship It. **  
**PS~ I'm going to a vans warped tour show, so i have a feeling I'll return with a headache or some other injury, so the next chapter MIGHT come out a little later. Might is in caps because this probably wont happen, but I'm just warning you in advance.**  
**I'M LOOKING AT YOU ANNOYMOUS REVIEWER! I'm joking I swear, I love all of the reviewers, and no matter how small or big your review, it always helps ^_^**  
**I LOVE YOU ALL!**  
**- Dynamite and Soup**


	6. The Top 24

**Yay! They finally go live! Thank you all for reviewing!**

**We do not own Yu-Gi-Oh, American Idol, the songs used in this fic, or anything else you recognize.**

* * *

Bakura was facing away from Melvin, looking out the window, when someone started poking him.

"Stop it you bloody pain in my arse!" He heard a high pitched nasally snicker in reply. "Oh Ra, don't even tell me..." He turned around to see his suspicions confirmed.

"KITTY!" Melvin had been replaced.

Bakura's split second reaction was an upward punch that left Marik rubbing his jaw and screaming "You EFFing ASSHOLE, FLUFFY!"

Bakura rubbed the sides of his head. "Marik... Enlighten me, why exactly did you take over?"

Marik stuck his tongue out at Bakura. "I'm not saying anything until you apologize."

"I don't say sorry. EVER. Just shut up and forget I asked." Bakura tried to go back to looking out the window, but Marik kept poking him in the ribs. After about ten minutes of that, Bakura ran out of patience. He whipped around and grabbed Marik by the neckline of his shirt and got in his face. In doing so, he didn't feel the limo come to a stop.

"Marik, if you don't stop that NOW, so help me God, I'm gonna-" at that moment Trisha opened the limo door. Marik and Bakura froze in that position, and Trisha passed out from OBLS-Overwhelming Boys Love Syndrome.

"Friggin' fangirl." Marik climbed out of the limo and used Trisha as a doormat to wipe his feet. Bakura followed him into the theater.

The remaining 24 contestants sat in two rows and waited for the judges to arrive. When they finally did, J. Lo was the first to speak.

"The girls will all perform on Tuesday and the guys will perform on Wednesday. Thursday, we will have the results of who goes home," she told them.

"This week you can choose whatever song you want. Start practicing!" Randy instructed.

The room erupted into chaos. Everyone ran around, trying to decide what to do. Marik called in a whole horde of Steves.

"Okay, mind slaves! It is time for my moment of greatness!"

Bakura, wanting to get as far away as possible from Marik, began to walk around the theater. Most contestants had already left, fearing somebody might copy them.

Bakura saw Trisha arguing with a girl who had bleach blond hair with pink in it. He ran off in the other direction. Stella also remained, but her hair had finally flattened out. The other person who still remained was a guy with insert characteristics here.

"No, Steve! That's the wrong move! Not you, Steve, the other one! Arrg!" Marik once again demonstrated the correct movement. "How are we supposed to perform onstage if you can't get this simple move right?"

The next day, Bakura practicing in his hotel room. Marik burst through the door. His arms were full of watermelons, peaches, and guavas. Tied to the top of his head was a giant cow leg.

"I'm going to regret asking, but what are you planning on doing with all of this?"

"It's a secret, Fluffy! But my Steves will be using them in my performance!"

They continued to practice hard up until the performance. Bakura figured that he should actually attempt to win considering how far he had made it.

A few hours before the American Idol would go live, Melvin finally managed to take over Marik. He was in an extremely bad mood, especially when a Steve tripped and tore a hole in his cape. Needless to say, the Steve was killed within seconds of the unfortunate accident.

"WHAT THE F*CK. I don't want these inferior Steves hogging up my precious limelight! Why is this cow leg tied to my head? What's with the pile of fruit? And what kind of friggin song is this!"

Bakura snickered "Thanks to Marik running around like a complete idiot all week, it's a song you have to memorize and choreograph in 2 hours."

Melvin help up the Millennium Rod's pointy end to Bakura's neck. "It's a good thing I have a kitty-cat to help me!" Bakura hissed at him.

American Idol was going live for the first time this season. Ryan Seacrest took his place on stage.

"Hello, America. I'm Ryan Seacrest and welcome to American Idol. This year, we have a few surprises in the show. Now..."

A man with hair that kept changing colors burst out on stage.

"I, Dartz, will be hosting with Wyan Seacwest! And now, I am pwoud to intwoduce the top 24 who will dooool to the death with moosic! Evil moosic!"

"Actually-," Ryan started to speak.

"Fine, it isn't evil moosic! But it's still moosic!"

"Uh, we're supposed to introduce the judges."

"What?"

"Anyway, I now present-"

"Ooh, I wanna doo this pahrt! Steven Tyleh! Jennifah Wopez! And Wandy Jackson!"

The judges ran out in stage immediately and sat down, hoping to avoid Dartz.

"And now we introduce the top 24!" Ryan seemed quite pleased to have gotten the sentence out without being interrupted.

The top 24 appeared onstage and sang a song. Then there were commercials. After the commercials, two people sang. The judges said stuff. Then there were more commercials. Another two singers. The judges said stuff again. Commercials. This process continued to loop. Then, it was Bakura's turn to sing.

Neaxt, we have Bakuya!" Dartz announced.

Bakura sang. The song he sang was the last thing anyone expected from him. But that was his whole idea.

"Black dress,

With the tights underneath.

I got the breath of my last cigarette on my teeth

And she's an actress.

But she ain't got no need

She's got money from her parents and a trust fund back east"

During his song Bakura was strutting around the stage like he owned it. He took every chance possible to look directly into the camera and wink. No one questioned it, because if anyone knew how to obtain a huge ravenous group of fangirls to worship the ground you walk on (and in this case vote for you) it was Bakura.

He finished his song, and all the girls in the audience shrieked. Bakura gave his trademark smirk and walked off stage.

"Good luck Melvin" Bakura said nonchalantly as he brushed past him backstage.

"Pff. I'm Melvin Ishtar, I need no luck!"

Melvin was glad he had been able to get rid of the Steves. He had given them a chance by watching the dance Marik had choreographed, but it was still horrible. Melvin crammed them all into supply closet and locked the door. They wouldn't be getting in the way of his performance anytime soon. Melvin managed to remove the cow leg from his head and threw it on the ground.

He was waiting for his cue at the stairs and when he heard "Naw eetz tahme foh Melveen Eeeshtawh."

Melvin took his microphone and waited for his music to start. Then he sang.

"It took too long

It took too long

It took too long for you to call back.

And normally I would just forget that.

Except for the fact it was my birthday

My stupid birthday."

Melvin for his performance was confidently walking around the stage whipping his cape around, the hole now repaired. He moved in such a way that never let the Millennium Rod show. Nobody knew he was controlling the Steve population to vote for him. He finished the last verse of the song giving the camera the death look.

"This is the potential make-up song

Please just admit you're wrong which will it be?"

As the song ended, the crowd was on their feet and cheering. It was clear that him and Bakura would both be moving on. The other contestants all had an equal shot with each other of making it through.

*The Next Day*

"We will now announce the top 12 everybody!" Ryan Seacrest yelled to the crowd of screaming fans.

"Would Melvin, Bakura, and Candy please come to the stage."

The two protagonists and a short stocky girl with thick brown hair came to stand next to Ryan Seacrest and Dartz.

"Mehwven and Bakuya... You doo are both throo!"

Melvin and Bakura high fived and took their seats.

"Cahndee, goh home! Get out of da siiight of da gweat Dartz!"

The girl cried and ran off stage.

"Can this show get any randomer?" Bakura scoffed to Melvin, who in turn let out an evil laugh.

"Yeah, you said it!"

Bakura looked surprised to the guy sitting next to him who had also made the top twelve.

"I'm sorry, but who the bloody hell are you?"

"I'm Gary Oak!"

"..."

"Riley, you're also through!" Ryan Seacrest yelled.

The man named Riley took a seat next to Gary.

"This is incredible that I made it! Lucario will be so proud!"

At this point, Bakura gave serious consideration to jumping off the nearest bridge.

"Now that all of our top twelve is announced, we have one more thing to tell you all. At this time we would like to announce the vocal coaches for our top twelve."

"Jes! Dese mehn ahw vewy neaw and deaw to mah hawht. Deyre names ahw: Aristaw, Waphear, and Vawon!"

The spotlight and cameras showed the three motorcycle riding henchman in their seats in the audience.

"Now, we will assign each of the coaches four hopefuls to help!"

"Aristaw, yoo geht Melwven, Stewwa, Samahnthaw, and Jawsh! Hey, Jawsh, ahw yoo rewated to that shawk? Waphear, yoo geht Bakuya, Rawleh, Tabwitha, and Steve! Vawon, yoo geht Twisha, Gahree, Mawrawnduh, aaand Miiickey!"

"There you have it, America. Your top 12 is Melvin, Steve, Myranduh, Trisha, Gary, Stella, Riley, Bakura, Tabitha, Mickey, Samantha, and Josh. Tune in next week to see what happens. I'm Ryan Seacrest, thanks for watching."

Dartz pushed him offstage where Ryan crashed onto the discarded cow leg. "I'm Daaaarrrrtttttz!"

* * *

**Its me again. This maaaay become a regular thing buuuut we dont really know at this point.**

**Well, well, well, well, well. It seems alot of you enjoyed Melvin's killing spree. I am quite shocked. Needless to say, we have heard your quiet plea for more violence, and so your wish is our command, dear readers! We plan on adding a complete and utter massacre in the future. The question is, when will it happen? Mwahahahahahahahaha...**  
**Expect mass annihilation and the Navy SEALS being called in. We should have a grand old time, and a few lessons will be learned in the process. Like the proper way to stab with a fiery microphone, how to use stage make-up to kill someone, and why you never ever ever ever ever ever want to get Melvin angry. Thank you for reading and subscribing! Toodaloo lovelies! **  
**-Dynamite and Soup**

**And remember everyone, only you can put an end to teenage OBLS. Shounen-ai and yaoi fans around the world are joining together to put an end to this terrible condition. Together, we can find a cure.**

**We also don't own Gary Oak or Riley.**


	7. The Choice

**Thanks for the reviews! We do not own Yu-Gi-Oh, American Idol, the songs used in this fic, Pokemon, or anything else you recognize.**

**A message from Dynamite and Soup:**  
**How did I get up here? Strange... Anyways...**

**Singing is fun and all, but how about we throw in a plot twist nobody in their wildest dreams or nightmares would have thought of:**

**A card game.**

**But not just any card game, **

**A childrens card game that somehow decides the fate of the world!**

**Thats right kiddies, get out your duel disks and your duel monsters decks, because**

**ITS TIME TO D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-DUEL!**

**Your Move.**

* * *

It was the day after the results show, a Friday, and the top twelve were hanging out in the empty Kodak Theater. They had been told that this week they'd all be singing their choice of song that was currently a part of America's Top 40. Everyone was lounging about either on the stage or in the seats on laptops. They had to have their choice of song memorized for when they sang and practiced with their coaches the next two days.

It was around 7pm, and some were starting to complain about being hungry. Mickey, a guy in his early twenties who was tall, muscular, and best at singing country music, was rambling about wanting Chinese food.

"Back in Texas, I lived on a farm with my two older brothers that was 10 miles away from the nearest town. It was once in a blue moon we went out to eat, and I've always wanted to try Chinese food!" He was talking about it with the two people sitting closest to him, Riley and Stella.

Riley replied with "Yeah Chinese sounds great! I live and train on Iron Island, so I'm lucky that I have television and that American Idol had auditions in Canalave City!"

Mickey gave him a strange look. "I thought all the regions in pokemon were make believe."

"That's what they want you to think" Riley said with a dark look. Mickey decided not to question farther.

Stella was staring at Riley the whole time with hearts in her eyes. She had a thing for pokemon trainers.

Speaking of pokemon trainers, Gary Oak was talking to Myranduh and Josh on the stage.

Josh, a punky teen who sang mostly rock music, was talking about how he was hungry too. He had black hair that he gelled up to be a tiny mohawk. He also had his ears pierced."I'm starving! We should totally get some pizza! Gary, get your pokemon to fly us to the nearest pizza hut!" He was immature, but a funny kid to hang around with.

"I already told you Josh," Gary said with a laugh "I'm a pokemon scientist now, I'm not a trainer anymore!"

"... The f*ck even is that?"

Gary just gave him a dumbfounded look like he didn't know how to answer, which was probably true.

Myranduh sighed. She was in her late teens with straight long brown hair with a big nose and always seemed to be irritated about something. She was a waitress, and a bad one at that. She would constantly purposefully mess up orders and then dump the unwanted food on her customers. It was a miracle she hadn't been fired, and everyone was happy she quit to be on American Idol. She had taken a peculiar liking to Gary, who in turn found it extremely creepy.

"I kinda want pizza too now. What do you think Gare-bear?" She said with a creepy smile. The use of the nickname Spongebob gave his snail that shared his name made Gary want to throw up. But not wanting to ruin his clothes he replied with a sheepish smile and said "Yeah sure, now that Josh brought it up, pizza does sound good right now..."

Josh felt bad for Gary, but had no idea how to handle a creepy teenage girl.

A third group had formed all three being girls in their late teens. Their names were Tabitha, Samantha and,

"YOUR NAME IS STEVE!"

A girl with unnatural red hair in a ponytail nodded with a shy smile. She was used to this by now. Most people didn't believe it, and thought it was short for Stevie or Stephanie or something, but no, her actual name was Steve. Upon hearing this screech, Melvin jumped up from his seat a few rows behind the girls and saw who this 'Steve' was.

'This is going to be fun...' He thought to himself while his face became contorted and veiny again.

The girl who had screamed that had bleached blonde hair with pink highlights. She was the one arguing with Trisha a few nights ago. She was really pompous and stuck up, and had a clearly fake tan that made her look like an oompa loompa. She was also pretty short and scrawny.

"Hey Tabitha, you're embarrassing her!" The third girl with wavy brown hair scolded. Tabitha just flipped her hair. Samantha gave Steve a sweet smile. "If it makes a difference, people calk me Sam all time! We have that much in common!" The two girls giggled when they heard Tabitha whine.

"I'm soooo hungry! Let's go get some subway! I need to count calories keep watch on my perfect body!"

Because having absolutely no curves and being an orange stick makes you perfect. These are the facts of life girls. Ooh that sarcasm was so thick you could cut it with a chainsaw. Luckily Melvin brought some extras.

Samantha and Steve agreed with getting subway, because their stuff was actually healthy, unlike some of the other foods people wanted to get.

"WHAT DOES A GUY HAVE TO DO TO GET SOME BLOODY TACOS AROUND HERE!"

Bakura was yelling at Melvin, who didn't seem to care. He was still interested in the whole 'a girl named Steve' thing. Bakura hadn't eaten in a full two hours, and his carnivorous appetite was getting the best of him. He wanted meat, and he wanted it NOW.

"A man can only survive on tea and crumpets for so long, and my patience is starting to wear extremely thin." He was pacing back and forth now, thinking he was talking to Melvin, who was still not listening. 'Calm down, Bakura, just breathe' he thought to himself. 'Just keep looking up your song and the thought of meat in a hard or soft shell with tomatoes lettuce and cheese will leave your head. The spicy, juicy, succulent ground beef...'

"AAH! I CAN'T TAKE THIS ANYMORE!" Bakura screamed.

Just then, Trisha ran out on stage and screamed "I WANT SOUP! SOUP, I TELL YOU, SOUP!" The place went dead quiet as everybody stared at Trisha with unreadable expressions. One thing rang true though- EVERYONE was starving at this point.

Almost on cue, a man wearing a headset holding an orange envelope came out from backstage. He decided not to wonder why a girl in a bright pink sundress and pigtails was looking so mad and had the other 11 contestants staring at her. "Ok you guys," he said in a voice that all could hear, "I know you all must be hungry by now, so we're providing you $100 for all of you to get takeout so you can keep working. I'll see you all later." He handed Gary the envelope because he was the closest to him and he left. Everyone except Melvin gathered around Gary at this point yelling about what to get.

"Pizza! Piiiiiizza!"

"No, Subway!"

"Chinese would be mighty fine right about now!"

"SOUUUUP!"

"Where would we even get soup?"

"I own a soup factory!"

"No, TACOS!"

This continued for a bit, before Melvin stood up and yelled in a booming voice that silenced the room, "I COMMAND YOU ALL TO SHUT THE F*CK UP!"

Everyone complied and gave him frightened looks.

"There's clearly only one way we can solve this..." Melvin slowly walked towards them, the purple smoke of the shadow realm starting to pool at his feet.

"You cant possibly mean-" Bakura spoke in horror, too afraid to finish the sentence.

Melvin let out an evil laugh.

"MWAHAHAHA! That's right Florence, Its time for...

A children's card game!"

* * *

"Do you have any sevens?"

"Go fish!"

They were all sitting around in a circle playing a children's card game by the name of go fish. Melvin was back in his seat on his computer, looking uncharacteristically content with himself. Bakura was playing for tacos, Trisha was playing for soup, and to make things fair, each other food choice had one representative to play for them, making it five players in total. Josh played for pizza, being the kid that he is, Mickey played for Chinese, wanting to feel like he earned it, and Samantha played for subway, seeing how Tabitha had just painted her nails and Steve had acquired this oddly blank expression and wasn't responding. Melvin also looked like he was having way to much fun just watching a game of go fish.

"Got any sixes?"

"Here you go."

"YES, I WIN!"Mickey yelled in excitement. He tossed his ever present cowboy hat in the air.

Bakura sighed, "Well at least I can still get the meat on the stick."

Samantha smiled, "Yeah, you probably wanted your food choice the most Mickey. I'm happy that you won!"

Josh looked a little sad but then perked up.

"Www no pizza? Well Chinese food was my second choice so its not all that bad!" He said with a big grin.

The only person that was completely dissatisfied was Tabitha. "BUT THAT'LL MAKE ME FAAAAAT!"

Everyone gave her a look like she was out of her mind.

"One actual meal isn't gonna kill you, it'll actually help you! You like a basketball someone sucked all the life out of!" Josh replied with a scoff. Bakura burst out in his condescending laughter and Riley high-fived Josh.

Tabitha stormed off out of the theater fuming, and left some people laughing and others stunned in shock.

"What a pretentious b*tch!" Steve said, still having that blank expression on her face.

Everyone looked at her shocked. Of course, everyone was thinking that, they just didn't think shy-looking Steve would be the one to say it. As soon as she did, life came back to her face and she looked extremely confused. Now Melvin burst out laughing and no one could figure out why. They all just figured he was insane, but that was true as well.

"Can someone pass me a soy sauce packet?"

"Here, catch!"

Everyone was eating and chatting happily. They had gotten 3 large orders of lo mein, 2 large orders of steak on a stick (all for Bakura), An order of dumplings, sweet and sour chicken, a couple of egg rolls, and a ton of rice.

Tabitha eventually came back, but all she ate was about 4 spoonfuls of fried rice.

They also all got bottles of water.

After their meal, they all finished picking out and memorizing their songs, and then headed back to their hotel rooms.

The next day, everyone was waiting to meet up with their vocal coach.

"So what songs are you guys thinking about?" Samantha asked, trying to start a conversation.

Steve gave her a blank look.

"I'd like, never tell you guys. I mean, everyone would just try to take it. Luckily, I'm, like, the best singer here!" Tabitha smiled.

Stella rolled her eyes at Tabitha. "Well, I'm going to sing "Stronger" by Kelly Clarkson."

"Hey, no fair! That was MY idea! You totally spied on me!" Tabitha shrieked.

"Yes, because I've totally been stalking you all week trying to figure out which song you're singing instead of practicing," Stella said sarcastically.

At that moment, one of the doors swung open.

"Trisha?" Valon called.

Trisha stood up, blew a kiss to Bakura, and skipped into the room. Bakura shuddered.

She bounced into Valon's coaching room with a huge smile on her face. Valon was scared already.

"Nice to meet you, Mr. Valon Sir! I'm ready to learn now! I'm gonna sing Call Me Maybe! What's your favorite color? Mine's pink! I love singing! Are you really Australian! How many fingers am I holding behind my back? Are you psychic? Do you like sunflowers? Am I wearing too much pink? How many licks does it take to get to the cen-" Valon cut her off by holding up his hand.

"Golly, you sure do yabber! And you're tin-arsed that I've got a case of tall poppy syndrome! You seem like a fairly sook sheila, I'm rapt to be in bizzo with a seppo like y'self!

"...What?"

Meanwhile, Alister had just called for Melvin to come in for his practice session.

Melvin sat down in a small room.

"So what song are you singing?" Alister asked.

"Why should I tell you?"

"Don't you want to please the great and powerful Dartz?"

"No. I really don't care about that guy. "

Alister gasped.

At about this time, Raphael instructed Bakura to come into the last room.

Raphael sat there without saying anything. Bakura waited and eventually sang his song, not knowing what else to do.

"Zug zug," Raphael responded.

Bakura gaped at him.

"Just kidding. Okay, at the start of the second verse, your pitch was a bit flat. We need to fix that. Also, ..."

By the time all of the sessions where done, only those who had Raphael as a coach felt accomplished. Nobody could understand Valon's incoherent babbling and Alister was too focused on making sure everyone wanted to please Master Dartz to give any constructive criticism.

The day finally arrived. After practicing and practicing, it was once again time to fight to stay on the show. The girls had all performed the previous night...

Trisha stared at Bakura the whole time while singing Call Me Maybe. When Trisha was done, Bakura was severely disturbed.

"Hey, Bakura!" Josh yelled at him in a voice that sounded waaay too much like Marik's.

"What?" Bakura responded.

"Remember how at the end of that music video, the guy the girl was singing to ended up being gay! HILARIOUS!"

Bakura wasn't sure if he was being insulted or not, so he just fumed and stared ahead...

Each of the girls had done very well, including Steve. Melvin had given her back her mind long enough to sing the song. She would be useful later on if they both made it to the final two and he made her bomb her final song.

Melvin was first to go tonight. He wasn't particularly pleased about it, but decided to deal with it anyways.

"And now we present, Melvin Ishtar!"

Melvin walked out on stage. His song was What Makes You Beautiful by One Direction. Melvin was aware that it may not have been the best choice. He really didn't care, though. He was controlling the entire Steve population. There was no way he could lose.

Melvin walked around the stage, frightening everyone within ten feet of him. The song just didn't seem right coming from him.

"That was great!" Steven Tyler said robotically once Melvin was finished.

"Yeah, there were some parts where your pitch was a little shaky"-the audience began to boo-"but other than that it was really good," Randy commented.

"I agree with Randy. There were places where it could have been better," J. Lo said.

Melvin cackled and vanished off the stage.

"Ahwight, that was Melwvin Blishtawhr! We'll be bahck aftah these commershwals! Next up is Jawsh!"

After Josh, Mickey, and Riley sang it was Bakura's turn. He knew he would have an easy time making it through to the next round. The theme was easy and his song was one that would earn him many votes from diseased fangirls, such as Trisha. Bakura didn't like the song, but it would definitely accomplish his goal.

"Naowh it's Bakuya's turn!"

Bakura started to sing Boyfriend by Justin Bieber.

Girls screamed at the top of their lungs and the yelling got so loud, it was hard to hear Bakura. When he was done, a commercial break had to be taken due to the fact there was still screaming so the judges couldn't talk.

* * *

"Hello, I'm Ryan Seacrest and this is American Idol. Now it's time to see who stays and whose dreams come crashing down."

It was Thursday- and the results were in.

* * *

**You hate us don't you? Well it was my idea to mislead people. I'm just that devious (Mwahahahahaha!)**

**Anyways,**

**IMPORTANT: WE WILL HAVE A POLL UP ON GHOSTFAIRY'S PROFILE. PUT DOWN YOUR LEAST FAVORITE CHARACTER, AKA THE ONE YOU WANT TO LEAVE THE SHOW. **  
**if you are a guest person, put down who you want to leave in a review. **  
**We will also now be updating on a weekly basis, but the chapters will be longer than others. Make sure to vote within a week!**  
**I know youre all mad about the lack of duel monsters, but I'm sorry, I had too. ALSO! We realize everyweek singing songs and stuff will get stale, so the characters will go on a weird adventure or whatever every week. I'm pretty sure we're gonna figure out a way for slenderman to step in at some point.**  
**Because we all love Slendy~**  
**[whats that? LK said his next video would be Marik Plays Slender? Well then I guess we'll do it in conjunction with that]**  
**I LOVE YOU ALL! Readers, followers, favoriters, reviewers, ALL OF YOU! Even if you hate this with a burning passion, you took the time to read it and that makes me super thankful! You're all awesome!**  
**Oooooh crab cakes yum kbye**  
**-Dynamite and Soup**

**This is Ghostfairy-yay this the longest chapter yet! And it doesn't even have song lyrics! Anyway, just a warning it's probably going to be a little while before the next update, but the chapter will be up as soon as I can find internet. Bye! oh, and if you guys don't vote, we'll just flip a coin cause we can do that.**


	8. The Chaos

**Hi! Sorry about the wait for this chapter...I was on vacation and had no internet access and when I got back, we hadn't finished the chapter since it's summer and I'm kind of lazy...Anyway thank you all for voting, reviewing, reading, and waiting patiently instead of screaming at us to update.**

**This chapter is kind of violent, but we tried to make it funny. Not sure if it worked. It's kind of hard to make violence funny. There was supposed to be a parody in this chapter, but it didn't get finished in time so it will be in the next one. **

**The next chapter will be a million times better than this one.**

**We don't own Yu-Gi-Oh, American Idol, Pokemon, the songs used in this fic, or anything else you recognize.**

* * *

So far, Steve, Myranduh, Riley, Bakura, Samantha, Gary, and Stella were safe. Josh and Tabitha were in the bottom three.

Currently, Melvin, Mickey, and Trisha were waiting to find out which one of them would join the bottom 3.

"Melvin, I'm sorry but you're in the bottom 3 this week."

The crowd gasped as Melvin angrily took his seat in between Josh and Tabitha.

'How could this have happened!? I had the entire Steve vote!' He thought to himself. His eyes got wide and he had a malicious frown, but luckily the cameras weren't on him at the moment, so no elderly viewers had heart attacks from looking at it.

"Ahnd nahw, yoo tree pwease come dowhn to centah staayge." Dartz yelled.

Melvin and the other two complied, and stood completely still as the lights glowed red.

"Josh... you're safe!" Ryan Seacrest exclaimed. Josh jumped up and down and took his seat back on the couch with the ten other 'safe' contestants. "Tabitha... I'm sorry but you're going home."

Tabitha started to cry. The crowd started to whine a bit. The other ten contestants didn't really care because they all hated her. Melvin looked extremely pissed for someone who was safe. He walked backstage, still seething, and Tabitha sang her song to get the judges save, but she still ended up going home.

"How could you do this to me! I'm clearly the best here!" she wailed. The other contestants snickered as she was forcefully removed off the stage.

After that, they announced the theme of next weeks songs ("The gweat Dartz commands yooz all to seeng about welationsheeps!") and then the cameras shut off. But something peculiar happened then.

The doors to exit were locked, and then suddenly the lights went out. Then laughter was heard throughout the theater. It wasn't the laugh of someone who heard a funny joke though, it was the evil kind of laughter a psychopath would have after watching his victim bleed to death. All of a sudden, a lone spotlight shown onstage. Everyone stopped talking and looked to see what was going on.

The source of the laughter finally showed himself.

Melvin Ishtar.

As soon as he stepped into the spot light, purple clouds of smoke started to cover the floor and walls and ceiling. Melvin was taking the Kodak Theater and everyone in it to the Shadow Realm.

The crowd of thousands mumbled worriedly over what was happening, but nothing could prepare them for what happened next.

Melvin stuck out his tongue and started to roll it around like a maniac. Then as soon as he stopped, he calmly said, "Meep, meep."

Then all hell broke loose.

Lighting poured from the purple sky as Melvin whipped out the Millennium Rod and stabbed 20 people unfortunate enough to have sat near the front of the arena. 20 other people were subjected to Melvin's famous hugs. Bakura joined in the chaos with his favorite knife from his collection while the rest of the Top 11 ran for cover. Valon grabbed all the liquid makeup he could find back stage and started pouring it down throats and into eyes. Raphael somehow got his hands on a flamethrower and one can imagine what ensued from there. Alister stood guard protecting his master from the onslaught while Dartz sat on the couch onstage and admired all of the destruction.

The crowd even started attacking each other at this point. One man found a microphone melted together with a mic stand and started whacking his wife in the head with it.

Luckily enough, at this point the judges, Ryan Seacrest, and the other contestants were taking refuge on the balcony, and were out of the way of danger.

After about 30 minutes of all this madness, Melvin had to stop to catch his breath and looked around him. Bodies lay over the floors and were slumped in the chairs. Melvin and the others had murdered an entire audience, and he felt quite proud of himself. As the Kodak Theater came out of the Shadow Realm, he turned and walked out of the building to go back to his hotel room. But not before looking at all the carnage and saying, "THAT is why you don't F*CK with Melvin Ishtar!"

* * *

It was the next day. According to witnesses from last night's event, the Kodak Theater had just disappeared for ten minutes. When it reappeared, the police stormed in and everyone was dead, except for the contestants, judges, hosts, and coaches. They were suspicious at first, but dropped it eventually. And in an extremely convenient fashion, the Kodak Theater was to be ready to perform on in a couple of days. For now though, the top 11 were in the local park, using their laptops and the free wifi to look up their songs for the next week.

Some were sitting on benches, and some were on the swings. There were also a lot of kids in the park today, but luckily none of them were bothering the eleven main characters.

They were still pretty shocked about the previous nights events, so none of them were talking to each other, either. After all, if you saw a room collapse into other-worldly chaos, you probably wouldn't want to say something that would recall the memory. You wouldn't want to trigger a public panic-attack now, would you?

Needless to say, Melvin and Bakura had seen -and done- much worse, so they were up to their usual banter.

"I'm tellin' you, Florence, this song is perfect to sing! Everyone will love it!"

Bakura groaned. "Melvin, a song with the lyrics 'Yummy, yummy, yummy, I've got love in my tummy' will get you the least amount of votes in American Idol history."

"Fine! You think of a better song then!" Melvin scoffed.

"I don't even need to! At this point in the competition I could sing about my pet rock Namu and get to finals, just by riding on the coat tails of my rabid fangirls!"

"...Namu?"

"Fangirls like thiefshipping. Therefore, I will use this utterly absurd notion of Marik and I being more than friends to my advantage."

"I see. Hey, wait a minute... Don't you and, well, me for the time being, have thief and shipping on your uh, our butts? Does that really mean nothing?"

"... Shut up."

"NEVER!"

"Heyyyyyy guysssssss"

"Oh bloody hell..."

It was Slenderman.

"Why the bugger are you in Hollywood!?" Bakura stood up and yelled at him.

"Becausssse I'm filming Jack Slenderman Twooooo." The faceless monster in a tuxedo replied. "I was given a break so I thought I would get a bite to eat."

Melvin was confused. "Then why are you at a playground, binky-boy?"

"He eats children, so of course he goes to the nearest playground for his next meal." Bakura spat. He really didn't feel like dealing with the slim and smartly dressed fellow today. But then again, he never did.

"Welllllll I could use some company. I usually have to eat alone. Apparently, eating tiny humans can really disturb some people."

Melvin chuckled at this. "I know the feeling! Almost no one ever gives me a hug!"

"That's because your hugs kill people, you bloody tart."

By now the the other nine contestants were staring at the three. Most of them did not know how to react. Unfortunately for Josh, he had stayed up all night playing SLENDER, so when he saw the Slenderman in real life, he screamed like a girl and fainted. Luckily Riley had his emergency smelling salts on him, so Josh was soon resuscitated. Some questioned Riley for keeping such stuff with him at all time, but he just glared at them and said "Lucario told me to always be prepared for anything!" This psycho also talked to and took advice from pokemon. How lovely.

They all gathered around Melvin, Bakura, and Slendy and chatted for awhile. They all learned that for a faceless monster that ate people, he was a pretty decent guy. Needless to say, Bakura still couldn't stand him.

After a few minutes, the Slenderman went off to devour some children. But don't worry, the parents didn't file any charges against him. He killed them too. The top 11 were halfway to their hotel when they heard the screams. They just kept on walking, didn't ask questions, and didn't look back.

* * *

It was time to meet up with the singing coaches once again. The top 11 waited patiently.

"I really hope Valon isn't here. No offense, but I couldn't understand anything he was saying. I had to tape myself singing and then watch it to see what needed to be improved," Mickey said.

"Alister isn't much help either. The only thing he told me was to please Master Dartz," Josh rolled his eyes.

"Raphael was actually really helpful," Riley commented.

Alister came out from one of the doors. "Samantha."

Samantha gave the others a look of dread and walked inside.

"So where are you from?" Alister asked.

"Um, Alabama," she answered.

"You have to sing 'Sweet Home Alabama'! It will please the great and powerful Dartz!"

"I don't think that's about relationships."

"It's about the singer's love of Alabama! Sing it to please Master Dartz!"

Meanwhile, Trisha was called into a room. She walked in and saw someone who was not Valon.

"Who are you!" she shrieked.

"CARD GAMES ON MOTORCYCLES!"

"...What?"

"I am your coach this week because Valon had to go into hiding after what happened on Thursday! I'm Jack Atlas!"

"Why are you yelling?"

"I like to! What are you singing?"

"I'm singing-"

"CARD GAMES ON MOTORCYCLES!"

"I liked the Australian guy better."

"I have an Australian accent, too!"

Bakura was waiting for his turn to meet with Raphael. Riley had just come out of the room looking slightly confused. That couldn't be good. Trisha had come out of one of the rooms earlier looking very angry. So angry she completely ignored Bakura. Mickey had come out of the same room as Stella looking lost. Bakura was glad not to be called into that room.

Eventually, Bakura went into the room. Bakura was shocked to see who the coach was.

Yusei Fudo.

"Do you have any idea what you're going to sing?"

"No," Bakura answered.

"Bakura, you have all these fangirls because you're basically the hottest guy in the competition. No homo," Yusei said.

_This chap annoys me_, Bakura thought to himself.

"Based on that, what you should sing..."

A little while later, Bakura walked out with a smirk on his face. "This is going to be fun..."

* * *

"Hewwo, Ahmewicah! This is Ahmewican Idohl!"

It was Wednesday, so the girls had already performed the night before. Trisha had sang "Enchanted" by Taylor Swift. She dragged Bakura out on stage and sang it to him. Bakura was extremely pissed off he wanted away from the psycho. To some, the performance would have been cute if not for the thousands of Bakura fangirls descending upon Trisha to tear her eyes out. She had to cut her act short and ran off stage, being chased by the fangirls who hadn't stopped to try and glomp Bakura.

Myranduh had sang "Before He Cheats" by Carrie Underwood while glaring hatefully at Gary the whole time. Gary had no clue as to what he had done to her, besides run away.

Stella sang "Haunted" by Taylor Swift. The crowd thought she did a very good job and cheered wildly.

Steve sang "Secret Valentine" by We The Kings. Luckily for her, Melvin had let her have her mind back again.

Samantha sang "Teenage Dream" by Katy Perry. Alister looked at her disdainfully. She had refused to sing "Sweet Home Alabama" to please Master Dartz. Alister was furious, especially she had tricked him into believing she was going to sing it.

Gary was first up for the guys. He sang "Valerie" by The Zutons. Myranduh was still giving him the evil eye, but he ignored her.

Next was Mickey. His song was "Bleed" by Hot Chelle Rae. Back in his hometown, his family was so proud, they let loose a herd of Texas longhorns into the streets with a banner that displayed the words "Mickey is best!".

After him, Melvin went.

Melvin took a deep breath. _My song is amazingly manly, the whole crowd will cheer from the sheer amazingness of my performance!_ He thought.

His name was announced and he calmly took center stage. The music started. "I'm just a boy, and she's just a girl. Can I make it anymore obvious?" Melvin began his reversed version of Sk8r Boi. The crowd went quiet for a bit, not really sure what was going on. But halfway through the song, they were really getting into it. By the time he finished, the crowd was as loud as possible and giving a standing ovation. He smiled evilly and turned to walk off the stage.

_I'm back, bitches_, he thought to himself.

Bakura was shocked, surprised that Melvin's choice had actually appealed to the audience.

Then it was Josh's turn. He sang "Are You Gonna Be My Girl" by Jet.

Riley went next. "She Will Be Loved" by Maroon 5 was his pick. In the audience, Lucario was cheering psychotically. Lucario's support made Riley do even better.

Finally, it was Bakura's turn. He would be closing out the night.

Bakura took his place on stage. Fangirls went wild immediately.

"(Ah, ah ah) You're so good to me baby, baby (ah, ah ah)

I want to lock you up in my closet when no one's around

I want to push your hand in my pocket because you're allowed

I want to drive you into the corner and kiss you without a sound

I want to stay this way forever, I'll say it loud

Now you're in, you can't get out"

All over the stadium, fangirls started to have explosive nosebleeds. On a positive note, the EMTs were nearby so the girls received medical attention within minutes. That being said, hundreds of ambulances had to come pick up the girls.

Bakura finished singing. More than half the crowd had been hauled away by the ambulances. The remainder was silent.

"Vote now!" Ryan Seacrest ended the show, sensing extreme awkwardness.

* * *

**It just occurred to me...isn't Gary Oak still 10? How did he manage to get in American Idol? And incase anyone's wondering, Bakura sang "Hot' by Avril Lavigne. Now go to my profile and vote for who goes home next week! And we will update quicker next time!**

**eheheh... We were supposed to update weeks ago... that was the plan but then... I don't even know. Writers block. I really hope it doesnt happen again and I'm really sorry everyone! I hope you liked this chapter though. **  
**Oh I have a poll up on my page for the next week's song themes. Check that out and vote. I mean, y'know, if you want to... **  
**I'm kind of expecting a virtual slap to the face by someone. And I don't blame you at all if you do. Ive already slapped myself at least 6 times, and in real life, not virtually.**  
**Check back soon for another exciting installment of Melvin Ishtar: American Idol! Oh and we should have some cover art soon. **  
**Thanks for reading, reviewing, following, and favoriting and I hope everyone has a nice day today! **  
**-The Wham-Bam-Soup in a Can,**  
**Dynamite and Soup**


	9. The Cheesy

**I miss my Ghostfairy :'( but she has AP work to do, so I had to do most of this chapter instead of half like usual. I hope you guys still like it though. Also, go to our pages for polls on themes and who goes home. Enjoy this extremely deranged chapter that comes out right before school starts. ~Also, there are some swears in this puppy. You've been warned~**

* * *

"Myranduh, I'm sorry but you're going home tonight."

As Myranduh began to sob, Melvin couldn't help but smirk from the comfort of the 'safe' couch. This week, he ended up being in the TOP three for votes. As Myranduh was told 'no' for the save and walked off, the top 10 joined up on center stage.

"Dis, Amewica, is youw top ten!"

The crowd erupted into cheers.

"Newxt weeks teem wiw be- sing sowngs by awtists woose nawmes begwins wid da wetter P!"

The crowd didn't understand a word Dartz said, but cheered anyway. The show ended, and our top ten went back to their respective hotel rooms for a good nights rest. At this point, they had no idea how much they would need it.

It was the next day, and we find the top ten at three pushed-together tables eating breakfast in the hotels restaurant. There was no work today, and so they had no idea what to do. They were talking about random things to do to waste the day away, when Trisha piped up and said

"Why don't we all go to Chuck E. Cheese? No crazed Idol fans would think to look for us there! Plus, it'd be fun to play games and eat pizza!"

"I don't think that'll work," Josh replied with a sigh. "I don't want a bunch of kids coming up and annoying us. That'll just suck."

"Well..." Steve started. "Maybe if we all dressed or did something weird, the kids would stay away..."

Everyone stopped and thought.

The idea had merit!

"Ok," Mickey said with a laugh. "What kinds of things would we wear and do?"

"Oh I know!" Riley chirped. "We can make it fun, and have everyone dare someone else to do something!"

Now THIS would be funny.

"Ok I'll dare someone first!" Melvin yelled. He wouldn't pass up the opportunity to embarrass the living hell out of someone. "Josh, you have to dress and act like a pregnant man." Everyone burst out laughing, including Josh.

"Ok, ok, fine. But then... Riley! You have to wear a big ugly poofy wedding dress!" More laughter, with Riley having a confused look.

"Fine then, I'll dare..."

This went on for a few minutes, until almost everyone had a dare.

"I don't wanna be taped to Gary, let me be taped to Riley instead!"

"No! I'm pregnant so you will listen to me! And Riley's in the poofy discount wedding gown!"

"Then at least make it another girl I'm taped to!"

"We can't do that either! Trisha is dressing and acting goth so she needs to be alone, Steve won't be able to do the Caramelldansen if she's taped to someone, and Samantha's giant green mohawk will get in the way! Plus, Mickey's in the sparkly tutu, tiara, and fairy wings. And Melvin is talking to the banana! You and Gary are the only ones left without a dare!"

"Well, what about Bakura!?"

"I refuse to participate with you bloody morons."

Stella rolled her eyes, but Josh followed up with a sigh and said

"We're not gonna force Bakura of all people to so something he really doesn't want to do, so he's just gonna hang out at the table."

Stella huffed. "Fine. But I'm not happy about it!"

They got all their supplies from the hair, makeup, and costume department of the American Idol set. Once everyone was in their getup, they piled into a limo and had a Steve drive them down to Chuck E. Cheese.

They were about 5 minutes away when they heard a high pitched and British "OUCHIES!" Ryou had come out and hit his head on the roof of the car when they ran over a pot hole.

Everyone turned to look at Bakura's sudden change in appearance and voice tone.

Ryou looked at everone extremely confused. "What are you all doing? I want to join in!" He said with a giggle.

Stella gave an evil smirk, which just looked ridiculous with duct tape around her torso and being back-to-back with Gary. "Your activity will be to say 'in bed' at the end of all your sentences.

"That's it?"

"That's it. Starting... Now!"

"Well this should be easy... in bed."

Everyone burst out laughing, and Ryou finally caught on with the phrase's dirtiness.

"I don't want to do this anymore... in bed"

"Oh, so you'll do it elsewhere?" Josh said, mock flirtatiously. More laughter.

"Stop laughing, its not that funny in bed!"

When they finally got there, everyone piled out of the car, except for Gary and Stella.

"Crap. Hey guys, Stella and Gary are stuck in the door!" Trisha yelled as dully as possible.

"Well yank them out!" Josh called back, his water balloon fake boobs and fat suit jiggling as he did so.

"I'm trying, but they're REALLY stuck!" Trisha shouted in a monotone voice.

"Alright we're gonna need solvent, butter, and the jaws of life." Riley said while walking back towards the limo calmly, throwing his bouquet to the ground and lifting his veil so he could see better.

"Help me, Riley!" Stella cried.

"Don't worry Stella, YOU'RE GONNA MAKE IT!"

"They're all idiots. Aren't they, Mr. Superbanana-man?" Melvin cooed to the ripe banana with a crudely drawn on smiley face and a dark, flowing cape, much like his own.

* * *

They walked in, with Josh acting as everyone's mother/father. He demanded they all get the matching stamps, so no one would try to steal his children. The stamp guy was incredibly disturbed at this, and he fled. After everyone walked in, they sat at the tables the party area, because they needed a big table for everyone to fit. They were about to order, when they heard a small child yell, "Mommy, Mommy look at all the tickets I got." Everyone laughed while Steve groaned.

"We all heard the secret word Steve! Do the Caramelldansen!" Samantha yelled.

Steve stood up and someone played the song from their ipod. She did the dance, and then sat back down.

"I hate you all..." She grumbled to herself, as everyone erupted into laughter.

"Ok you guys, let's go play games now!" Josh yelled. Everyone got their tokens, and proceeded to the game area.

Melvin and Ryou stopped by skee ball.

"I love this game in bed! I'm amazing at it in bed!" Ryou beamed. All the kids nearby got freaked out by this and left.

Melvin laughed. "If Ryou wasn't so innocent, I would think he planned that one. Isn't that right Mr. Superbanana-man?" Melvin snickered to his banana.

Ryou fumed. "I would never purposely say something that dirty in bed! My mummy says I'm a good boy... in bed."

Now Melvin was on the ground laughing. "You're gonna make my banana pee itself!"

"Just be quiet and let's play some skee ball in bed."

Melvin got up but was still suppressing a laugh. "It's funny you say that, seeing how skee ball is a game of balls going into holes..."

Ryou turned bright red at this, and Melvin laughed even harder.

"SHUT UP IN BED!"

While those two were making dirty jokes, Gary and Stella were walking around, trying to figure out what games they could play while in their predicament. Gary suddenly felt an urge.

"Ok I need to use the bathroom now," he said awkwardly.

"Well, what the hell!? I can't go in the boy's bathroom, I'm a girl!" Stella was still really pissed about this situation.

"Well then we'll go outside." Gary really had to go.

"There is NO WAY you're taking a crap while we're like this."

"Relax, I just need to pee."

"That's just as bad! You're just gonna have to hold it!"

"Ughhhhh." It was going to be a long day for these two.

Mickey and Trisha were playing the games that had the most ticket output, and they had a plan to combine their tickets to get the best prize. They were dressed as polar opposites today, with Trisha dressing goth and Mickey as a pink fairy princess. All the kids were staying away from them, due to the two extreme outfits they were wearing.

"Ugh this game is soooo boring." Stella said, monotoned. Luckily, Mickey knew she was acting for the sake of the dare, and was able to read through her fake emotions.

"I know, this is really exciting huh? I can't wait to get the blendy pens and the giant cowboy hat!"

Trisha frowned deeper at this.

"You're so stupid. And your wings make you look like an idiot."

Mickey smiled and laughed. "Thanks, Trisha! Haha!"

Samantha with her giant bright green mohawk was walking around near the ticket exchange with Steve. So far, she had been forced to do the Caramelldansen 4 times, and was getting tired. Samantha was laughing like crazy. Steve was not amused.

"Come on, can't we just go somewhere else? I'm getting tired." Steve whined.

"Alright fine..."

Suddenly a voice came over the intercom. "TICKET PARTY NEAR THE ENTRANCE!" It boomed.

Samantha got an evil smirk fitting for her mohawk.

"Oh, God," Steve groaned, while following Samantha and doing the Caramelldansen at the same time.

Josh and Riley were wandering around, getting the strangest looks of all. Every so often, Josh would have to help Riley hike up the dress's train, and the then Riley would have to help Josh through his 'labor pains'. Eventually, they found that all the games weren't worth the effort of all the walking, so they went back to their table to have some pizza.

They were eating away, when suddenly, Josh's fake stomach started leaking.

"OH MY GOSH, I THINK MY WATER JUST BROKE!" Riley cleared some chairs, and laid him down on the floor. The water was ice cold in his fat suit, and it was causing Josh pain when it ran over his skin.

"Just take deep breaths! In, out! In, out! In, out!" Riley kneeled down next to him and grabbed his hand. Josh let out a scream.

"Should we call an ambulance?" a mother nearby asked the guy at the prize counter.

* * *

"It's a boy! How blind are you!?" Melvin yelled at Ryou when he questioned the gender of Mr. Superbanana-man.

"But it has that dress in bed..."

"IT'S A CAPE!"

Ryou looked like he was about to cry.

"WELL YOU DON'T HAVE TO YELL AT ME IN BED!" He ran away crying, and climbed up into the tubes.

People gave Melvin some strange looks at this.

"This is all YOUR fault!" He yelled at his banana. He ran after Ryou.

He could hear the sobbing from the tube.

"Ryou?"

"Leave me alone in bed!"

Melvin sighed. "Mr. Superbanana-man apologizes for being rude."

Ryou sniffled. 'Wait a minute in bed' Ryou thought. 'What did Mr. Superbanana-man do to me in bed? Why is the banana apologizing for what he did in bed? He did nothing wrong in bed! Maybe I should apologize for what I did in bed...'

"Apology accepted in bed!" Ryou called out.

"Alright now get down from there!"

Ryou squirmed a bit. "Uhhh... Melvin I'm stuck in bed. I'm gonna need your help in bed."

A mother covered her child's ears as she walked past them.

Melvin was bursting out laughing on the inside, but he knew this was serious.

"Ok um... climb upwards and then find the slide to get down!"

"Ok, I'll start crawling around in bed."

'How is this idiot not planning this!?' Melvin thought to himself.

Ryou wandered around the tubes. He ran into dead ends constantly. More than once, he also ran into children. The children wanted to be his friend for about 2 minutes until he started talking to them and saying in bed. After that, they turned around and ran off in the opposite direction.

After close to a half hour of crawling through the tubes, Ryou managed to find an exit.

Melvin saw Ryou at the top of the slide and waited for him to come down.

A few hours later, everyone was back at the table and getting ready to leave. Ryou finally got to stop saying 'in bed' and Melvin was allowed to throw away Mr. Superbanana-man. The funeral service for him was short and bittersweet. Steve had nearly passed out from all the dancing, and Samantha's mohawk had started to lose its anti-gravitational properties. Trisha and Mickey were still wearing their costumes, but were too entranced with their prizes to notice. Riley also still had his dress on, but Josh had 'given birth' in a sense, and with his fat suit deflated, he saw no use for it. He did keep on the fake boobs though. Everyone was waiting on Gary and Stella, and were wondering where they were.

Suddenly the two walked up to the table. Gary had a very relieved look on his face, and Stella just looked disturbed. Riley cut off the tape keeping them together, and no one said a word about it when they got back in the limo. They got back to the hotel room, and everyone went right to sleep. They had a lot of work to do the next day.

* * *

With all three of the regular mentors back, Raphael and Valon had come out of hiding, one would assume that the contestants would get even better help. Except that's not the case with motorcycle riding henchmen for mentors.

This week, Valon had in his head that it was Steve Irwin Appreciation day. Being Australian, he took the liberty of dressing up like the crocodile hunter and running around with a giant butterfly net, trying to capture some helpless contestants. Riley and Mickey were captured and thrown into a nearby closet, and Stella was relentlessly poked with a stick. When she lost her temper, Valon screamed "IT'S ANGRY!" while running away from her. Melvin sat there miserably the whole time, because he couldn't control someone who was impersonating a Steve, they had to be the real deal.

Alister somehow managed to get his obsession with Dartz to a whole new level. He was supposed to be tutoring Samantha, Josh, Stella and Melvin this week, but he was nowhere to be found. Melvin and Stella were too preoccupied by Valon to care, but Josh and Samantha were determined to find him.

There was a closet in the back of the room, so they opened it and found Alister kneeling and bowing down to an altar. The altar had two candles and a bunch of odd little items that looked like trash on it. Then there was a bunch of little pictures tacked to the wall, all surrounding one life-sized picture of Dartz. Alister hadn't noticed the two walk in, so they just backed away slowly and never spoke of it again.

Steve and Gary were excited to have Raphael back this week, as he was always helpful. But today, Raphael decided that French Appreciation Day fell on the same day as Steve Irwin Appreciation Day, so he took the liberty of speaking French all day. Nobody understood a word he said. This made him sad and angry, so he then just went back to saying 'zug zug' for the rest of the day. So with all the contestants having absolutely no help from their mentors, they decided to go back to their hotel rooms and figure it out themselves.

"Nahw, Ameweeca, wewcome to dee tahp ten pehfohmance wound!" Dartz yelled as the crowd erupted into cheers.

"First up for 'songs performed by artists that start with the letter P' is Josh!" Ryan Seacrest shouted over-enthusiastically.

Josh sang "Hotel room service" by Pitbull. All the teenage girls seemed to like it, and the judges did too.

Next was Stella, who sang "Who knew" by P!nk. Some in the crowd were reduced to tears, and she got immense amounts of applause when she was finished.

Next was Mickey. He sang "Wish you were here" by Pink Floyd. The crowd seemed to like it, but the judges gave him some pointers on how to do it better.

Next was Bakura. He calmly walked onto the stage and sat on a lone stool. He was followed by a man carrying an acoustic guitar, looking as if he was about to play it. Bakura grabbed the mic and said into it- "This is a song dedicated to someone special. It's called, 'Hey there Delilah'." The fan girls shrieks and fainting noises could be heard a mile away. _All according to plan. They think I have a soft side, and they go absolutely nuts._ Bakura deviously thought to himself. He then sang his rendition.

Hey there Delilah,

How's it in Domino city?

I'm 5,000 miles away, but girl

Tonight you look so pretty

Yes you do.

Kaiba Land can't shine as bright as you

I swear it's true.

Bakura finished his song and the crowd went wild. The fan-girls had tried to start a mosh-pit, but it was quickly ousted by security. All throughout the security fight, Melvin was in his seat grumbling to himself. _I have got to do something about those f*cking fangirls.., _he thought to himself. Then suddenly, Marik mind linked with him.

_WHO THE !EFF! DOES FLUFFY THINK HE IS!? Singing about some whore-biscuit so openly..._

Melvin snickered. _Aww wittle Mawik's jeawous!_ He cooed.

_I am not! And stop talking like Dartz! All I'm saying is that we should have way more fangirls than the creampuff! I mean, look at me! Er, you... Both of us! We have sexy exotic skin and friggin abs! Bakura doesn't have abs, he's just skinny! And pale!_

Melvin thought about what Marik said._ ... Ok, how the hell do you know for a fact that he doesn't have abs?_

_Oh, Bakura wanted to play shirtless baseball with me one time. Only it wasn't really baseball, I was just pitching him the ball and he would catch it. Only after a few throws I asked him about why we only took our shirts off cuz it was so hot, and he got a really bad nosebleed and we had to stop. All I was suggesting we change into shorts, so the nosebleed was probably from the heat._

_Marik... you're an idiot._

_I AM NOT!_

_Correction; You're a gay idiot._

_EFF YOU!_

_At least buy me dinner first! Now, we need a plan to get us more fangirls than Bakura._

Marik thought for a minute._ I know the perfect song to sing! But you won't be able to learn the lyrics in time, so I get to sing it!_

Melvin swore. _Fine! But this better work_.

Everyone else had performed their songs, and Melvin was the last to go. Everyone did good, but no one except for Bakura had really stood out. Marik, posing as Melvin, was about to change that.

Marik pushed past Bakura as his name was called to go onstage."Excuse me, Fluffy, I have an amazing performance to give."

Bakura's eyes went wide in shock as he grabbed Marik's wrist to stop him."What the bloody hell are you planning?"

Marik gave a mischievous smile. "You'll see."

He freed himself of Bakura's grasp and hurried up to the stage. He had told the musicians his song change awhile earlier, so they were the only ones who knew what he was doing.

He grabbed the mic and spoke into it before he sang.

"This is a song by a Las Vegas band by the name of Panic! At the Disco. But no one needs to panic at all, for there are no evil discos around to destroy us!" The crowd thought he was joking, so they gave a small laugh. Nobody realized that he was actually serious. Bakura took his seat and was ready to watch Marik's "amazing" performance.

"This song," Marik yelled. "Is called 'Lying is the most fun a girl can have without taking her clothes off'." The crowd started to whistle and if Bakura was drinking tea at the moment, he would've done a spit take.

'What is he DOING!?' He thought to himself. Marik continued with, "I personally believe that children's card games are more fun, but then again I'm not a girl, just an effeminate male." Then he sang.

Is it still me that makes you sweat?

Am I who you think about in bed?

When the lights are dim and your hands are shaking as you're sliding off your dress?

Then think of what you did

And how I hope to God he was worth it.

When the lights are dim and your heart is racing as your fingers touch his skin.

I've got more wit, a better kiss, a hotter touch, a better fuck

Than any boy you'll ever meet, sweetie you had me

Girl I was it, look past the sweat, a better love deserving of

Exchanging body heat in the passenger seat?

No, no, no, you know it will always just be me

Let's get these teen hearts beating,

Faster! Faster!

So testosterone boys and harlequin girls,

Will you dance to this beat, and hold a lover close?

So testosterone boys and harlequin girls,

Will you dance to this beat, and hold a lover close?

So I guess we're back to us,

oh cameraman, swing the focus

In case I lost my train of thought,

where was it that we last left off?

(Let's pick up, pick up)

Oh now I do recall, we were just getting to the part

Where the shock sets in, and the stomach acid finds a new way to make you get sick.

I hope you didn't expect to get all of the attention.

Let's not get selfish,

Did you really think I'd let you kill this chorus?

Let's get these teen hearts beating,

Faster! Faster!

So testosterone boys and harlequin girls,

Will you dance to this beat, and hold a lover close?

So testosterone boys and harlequin girls,

Will you dance to this beat, and hold a lover close?

Dance to this beat!

Dance to this beat!

Dance to this beat!

Let's get these teen hearts beating,

Faster. Faster.

Let's get these teen hearts beating,

Faster...

I've got more wit, a better kiss, a hotter touch, a better fuck

Than any boy you'll ever meet, sweetie you had me

Girl I was it, look past the sweat, a better love deserving of

Exchanging body heat in the passenger seat?

No, no, no, you know it will always just be me

Let's get these teen hearts beating,

Faster! Faster!

So testosterone boys and harlequin girls,

Will you dance to this beat, and hold a lover close?

So testosterone boys and harlequin girls,

Will you dance to this beat, and hold a lover close?

So testosterone boys and harlequin girls

Dance to this beat!

So testosterone boys and harlequin girls

Dance to this beat!

And hold a lover close!

Let's get these teen hearts beating,

Faster. Faster.

Let's get these teen hearts beating,

Faster.

Almost all of Bakura's fangirls started screeching for Marik, and the entire normal crowd cheered loudly for him. It was clear that he had secured the fangirl and the normal vote, along with the Steve vote he already had.

Marik triumphantly walked off stage, only to be greeted by an angry and red faced Bakura.

"That's really not a good color for you, Fluffy. You look much nicer pale."

"It's because I'm BLOODY pissed, you wanker! Who do you think you are, stealing all of my fangirls I worked hard to aquire!?"

Now Marik was crazy angry.

"I think that I'm Marik Sebastian Ishtar the Third! And I have rights from the US Government! And who the frig are you to talk, you're busy singing about some skank named Delilah that's back in Domino!"

"Marik, it's a song. There is no Delilah. Its just a name."

"So... you're telling me I got revenge over nothing."

"Yes, you fucking arsehole."

"Well I would apologize if you weren't such a friggin douchebag!"

"This means WAR Ishtar!"

"Bring it, you stupid thief!"

And so, the week long war of Bakura versus Marik began.

* * *

**Mr. Superbanana-man was a real banana. It was a number of years ago, I was in the backseat of my friends car, he was in the passenger seat, and his mom was driving. There was a banana on the dash board, meant to be his moms breakfast. He opened up the sun roof, picked up the banana and stuck it out of the roof of the car, yelling LOOK! UP IN THE SKY! ITS MR. SUPERBANANA-MAN! his mom got mad and he had to put the banana back. Me my brother and my sister were cracking up in the backseat. *sigh* being a middle schooler was such a simpler time... **  
**Reviews, follows, and favorites, are always appreciated, but never enforced! I love all you guyz (guys with a 'z' means I'm serious about this sh*t)**  
**Wham-bam- Soup in a Can**  
**I like my catchphrase. **  
**-Dynamite and Soup**

**Ps- Check out my profile for Polls on song themes and my spin-off chapters! (Thiefshipping is heavily implied)**


	10. The War

**Hi! Thank you all for reviewing! This chapter is the product of school, procrastination, late night concerts, homework, and about a billion other things. The beginning is also kind of ridiculous so if you guys think it's too inappropriate tell us and we'll take it out. Don't forgot to vote!~GhostFairy**

**Ok I was texting ghostfairy, and I typed in something random and dartz-like for him to call the character going home. We somehow ended up with this, and I am apparently now the master of crudeness. My theme song goes to the tune of the first pokemon theme song. -Dynamite and Soup**

**Since we forgot the disclaimer last time, it counts for both this chapter and last chapter.**

**We do not own Yu-Gi-Oh, American Idol, the songs used in this fic, or anything else you recognize.**

* * *

"Tamanpona! Youz is go-en homee!"

All were very confused at this.

"Did he just tell a tampon to go home?" Alister asked to no one in particular.

"What does a tampon even call home?" Raphael mused.

"I suspect it'd be a vagina" Valon stated in his thick accent.

"So The Great Dartz... wants the tampon to go into a vagina..."

"Uhh guys, I think he meant that Samantha is going home tonight." Ryan Seacrest whispered to the three.

"Oh thank God. I was not gonna put in someone's tampon." Raphael said with relief.

"You do know your mic is on right?"

"Your point?"

Ryan Seacrest gave Raphael an odd look before walking away and pretending that their conversation never happened.

As Samantha was told she wouldn't be saved, everyone got sad and Steve was a crying mess. Bakura and Marik didn't care, and even if they did they wouldn't have noticed as they were in a staredown from each end of the safe couch. They were both growling too, so nobody even dared to question why they were doing this or ask them to stop.

After the show, they were still at it, and the other top nine had gathered around them to see who would look away first.

"I think Marik has this," Mickey whispered to Trisha, just recently learning the difference between Marik and Melvin.

"Yeah... me, too." Trisha said without thinking as she looked up at Mickey.

"Well, I think Bakura has this. He has a lot more concentration than Marik." Stella thought aloud.

"I agree with Stella." Riley said nonchalantly.

"Same here. Marik can be a spaz a lot. And plus I'm still annoyed at him for leaving pieces of french toast in my dressing room. I don't know why he did it but it made me really hungry," Josh commented.

Steve had a vacant look in her eyes and kept repeating "Yes, Master Marik" so everyone assumed she was on his side.

"What about you, Gary?" Josh asked the ex-pokemon trainer.

"Not sure... I think they both have a chance at winning..."

Suddenly a microphone made a screeching feedback noise and everyone grabbed their ears and cringed. When Marik and Bakura realized they had both lost, they let out a loud "F*CK." and were about start over, when Gary intervened. "Can't you two settle this in any other way?"

"Shut up with the friendship shit Gary! Go jump off a building!" They said in unison. Apparently staring into someone's eyes for a long time puts you in sync with them.

Gary then had a smile on his face.

"Wait, how about you two jump off a building?"

Everybody looked at Gary for his lack of sarcasm, but then he explained further.

* * *

It was the next day, and Bakura and Marik found themselves at the top of a random skyscraper in LA with their respective peanut galleries made up of the rest of the top nine.

"So BASE jumping, eh?" Bakura thought aloud while looking over the edge. "Free falling with a high possiblity of death. My kind of game."

Marik on the other hand was shaking like crazy. "I could actually DIE." he mumbled to himself. The two participants got their parachutes on their backs and were readying themselves for the jump.

"Ok!" Gary yelled. "You'll both jump at the same time! Whoever reaches the ground first wins! If you chicken out or get hurt, you automatically lose! Ready guys!?" Bakura looked excited while Marik was scared out of his mind.

Bakura stood to peer over the edge while Marik stayed back, trying to hide in his shirt, thinking no one could see him.

"Princess Marik!"

"Who goes there!?" Marik yelled, disregarding the insult thrown at him.

"Its me Fluf- I mean Bakura! The evilest one in the universe!"

"I do NOT want to see you right now!" Marik was extremely embarrassed about his predicament of being seen as a chicken. And not a mega-ultra one at that.

"Come on, Princess, give it a chance! It'll be fun!" Bakura wasn't going to lie, he thought the idea of Marik getting hurt doing this was laughable.

"Just leave me alone!" Marik yelled as he controlled Steve to snarl at Bakura.

"Down, crazygirl, just breathe..." Bakura spoke to the mind puppet in a Ryou-like voice.

"What is Bakura doing? Josh whispered to Riley, who just shrugged in return.

"YOU'RE NOT BAKURA!" Marik screamed at the Ryou-sounding Bakura, while still not coming out of his shirt to see it was still the spirit of the ring.

"Yes, I am!" Bakura chided with his Ryou impression. He found that it made people more trusting of him when he used it.

"Its me, Bakura! Y'know we steal and duel together!"

"Well then stop sounding like friggin' Ryou! Its creeping me out."

"Whatever. Are you gonna jump or not!?"

"Bakura!" Josh whispered. "He's easy to persuade, just compliment him on something! Says he's smart, fun, his hair, his eyes, anything! Pick a feature!"

Bakura nodded.

"Marik, you know all the people that are uh..."

"Evil! Scheming! Not gay! Annoying!" Josh whispered.

"Annoying do this!"

"SHUT THE FRIG UP BAKURA! GO JUMP OFF A BALCONY!"

"Sorry!" Josh whispered to Bakura with a laugh.

"Well fine, I guess I win then..." Bakura sighed while walking towards the edge.

"Wait!" Marik yelled while coming out of his shirt. "I want to but... I'm scared. Is it even all that safe?"

Bakura smirked and turned so his back was to the edge and he was facing Marik.

"Sure its safe. Do you trust me?" Bakura said with a smirk while he held out his hand for Marik to grab.

"W-what?" Marik was incredibly confused at Bakura's change in behavior.

"I said, do you trust me?"

Marik thought for a moment.

"Yes..." he said slowly as he grabbed the albino's hand.

"Well, big mistake."

Bakura pushed Marik forward as he stepped backwards off the building, manically laughing at the blonde's incredulous expression on the safety of the roof.

Bakura landed unharmed, and he could hear Marik yell from the building's top,

"I WILL NEVER PARODY ALADDIN WITH YOU EVER AGAIN!"

* * *

As soon as the pair was reunited, Marik was fuming.

"I want a rematch Fluffy! That was totally cheating!"

"It really wasn't Marik, but it would be fun to wipe the floor with you again. In fact, you can pick the task this time."

Marik thought for a moment, then he smiled with realization.

"We see who can pull off the best prank at a specific target!"

* * *

_Psh, this is insanely easy._ Bakura thought to himself as he snuck into Marik's hotel room. _What idiot leaves their room unlocked in the middle of a prank contest?_

Bakura crept in and opened up Marik's top drawer near the closet. _Knowing him, this will probably be the worst thing he could think of, so I might as well do it before he does it to me._ Bakura thought with a smirk. He rearranged all the socks inside, then he closed it and inconspicuously walked out of the room. He made it to his own room, where he proceeded to take out his room key to unlock his door.

_Looks like this win is in the bag, _Bakura thought as he opened his door. But to his utter surprise, when he opened it a flood of purple and pink came rushing out at him.

"What the-!" He started, then he picked up a small purple thing.

"Are these nerds? Oh f*ck..."

He waded into his room, the sea of nerds up to his waist. He went into the bathroom to see the damage, only to find it was nerd-free. "Well, at least I can wash the stickiness off." He said to himself as he went to turn on the sink. But to his surprise, nothing came out. Then the faucet started to shake.

"Oh shi-" was all he got out before nerds exploded in the sink and rebounded at his face. He got out of his room as quickly as possible and into the hallway only to find Marik standing there smirking and with his arms crossed.

Bakura snarled before saying, "Best 2 out of 3?"

"You're on, Fluffy!"

* * *

The final stage of the battle was a fight. But not just any fight. This was a snowball fight!

In the middle of the desert.

First, they tried to make snow out of the nerds. The nerds were put into a blender and crushed into dust. The only thing this proved to be was a dismal failure. As an alternative, they ordered freshly harvested snow from Nicaragua and waited two days for it to arrive.

Instead of a one on one battle, Marik's supporters joined him and Bakura's teamed up. Stella, Riley, and Josh were backing Bakura. Trisha(surprisingly), Mickey, and Steve were backing Marik.

Bakura instructed Stella and Riley to start making snowballs. He and Josh would make the fort. They set up next to a tree. The fort went in a circle around the tree.

Things were not going as well with Marik's team.

"This fort isn't big enough," Trisha whined. "Every time I move, my foot ends up in someone's ear."

Marik had set up his fort in the shape of a triangle. This was proving to be problematic. Mickey and Steve had to knock down two of the walls and start over. Eventually, the fort became a square.

"Now, Steve! Throw snowballs and win!" Marik commanded.

"...What do you want the rest of us to do?" Mickey asked.

"Oh, yeah, you two throw snowballs, too."

Stella continued to make snowballs while Riley, Bakura, and Josh started to throw them. For some reason, every snowball Josh threw nailed Trisha in the face, until Mickey dove in front of her to take the hit. He went down hard and got the wind knocked out of him.

Riley was disqualified after he accidentally threw a snowball that hit Gary so hard he fell of the chair he was judging from. He went to sit on the sidelines with Mickey, who was still having trouble breathing.

Trisha vowed to avenge Mickey's death and hit Stella. Needless to say, she was not happy and took a moment off from making snowballs to hurl one back at Trisha.

Under Marik's control, Steve was doing an excellent job. She flung snowball after snowball at Bakura. Refusing to be beaten, Bakura relieved Stella of her snowball making duties to help Josh with the removal of Steve.

Day drifted into night, which quickly became early morning. Trisha, Steve, and Marik were taking turns sleeping. One of them would sleep while the other two either threw snowballs or fixed up the fort.

Riley and Mickey cheered for their respective teams while Gary watched intently to make sure no one cheated.

Stella and Trisha had been at war with each other for the past five hours since the plan to take out Steve had failed.

After exchanging hundreds of snowballs, they both collapsed from exhaustion around 3am and had to be dragged out of the fort by Riley and Mickey.

Marik woke up and took over where Trisha had left off.

Josh was getting extremely tired, but Steve showed no sign of stopping anytime soon. Perks of being a mind slave.

Bakura realized that Josh was going to fail him soon, so he placed him at the front line. Bakura fell back and began to make snowballs and formulate a plan to win.

Within an hour, Josh crashed to the ground, finished. Stella and Riley dragged him away.

Steve was currently the biggest threat. Bakura knew he had to manipulate her to win. As soon as she was gone, Marik would be easy to beat.

Bakura lobbed a snowball in the air. While Steve was distracted, he pelted her with other snowballs. Steve fell over and was done for.

Now that his best weapon was gone, Marik needed to come up with a way to destroy Bakura fast.

Marik and Bakura threw a snowball at the exact same time. Everything started to go in slow motion.

Bakura's snowball hit Marik in the face, who tumbled over backward and was finished. Marik's snowball went horribly off target and hit the tree above Bakura. The branch that was hit cracked and fell onto Bakura, knocking him out.

"...Um, tie?" Gary declared.

* * *

The Marik vs. Bakura war had ended the night before, and the rest of the top 9 were sitting at their usual breakfast table. Except this time, Marik and Bakura weren't there yet.

As the others were wondering where they were, the two objects of the conversation walked out of the elevator and sluggishly made their way toward the table. Everyone else was already showered and dressed for the day, but Marik and Bakura looked disheveled and like they had just woke up a few minutes ago. They were also still wearing the same clothes from yesterday. After slumped into their usual seats without a word.

"Wow you guys, you both look like you didn't sleep at all last night." Josh chuckled.

Bakura glared at him but Marik looked away and replied with

"I just had a long night, that's all. I have no idea why puffball looks so gross."

Bakura decided to ignore that statement and continued scarfing down his breakfast.

There was an awkward silence before Gary tried and failed to quietly say "Um, Bakura, what's that?" Bakura looked at him bewildered and answered with "What's what?" Gary got up from his seat and tugged on the collar of Bakura's shirt.

"This right here. It looks like a small bruise..."

Riley and Josh looked at the mark closer before Josh bursted out laughing.

"Dude, how the hell did you get that?! It looks like a hickey!" He said beneath laughter.

Everyone at the table turned to look at him, except for Marik who was frozen in place.

"Hey wait a minute..." Trisha pieced together.

"How is it that you two are on separate floors yet still managed to wake up at the same time to ride on the same elevator?"

Now everyone gave Trisha a shocked look before turning their gazes back towards Marik and Bakura. Or, they would have, except Marik's hair was now sticking straight up and Bakura's had flattened itself. They had switched themselves out. There wasn't much of a silence though, as Ryou let out a loud "OW! My lower back is absolutely KILLING me! What happened!?"'

Melvin was equally as confused.

"Why the F*CK are there bruises and scratches all over my F*CKING arms!?"

Everyone at the table stared at the two with jaws hitting the floor. If someone happened to be holding a utensil at that moment, it fell out of their hands with a loud and satisfying CLANK! Nobody talked to anyone else about this, and decided to forget it even happened. It looked like whatever they were planning to do today, they'd be joined by Melvin and Ryou.

~last nights events~

"BAKUUUUURAAAAA!"

"Marik, please shut up. And get out of my hotel room, I want to sleep soon!"

"NEVER! And I'm bored!"

Marik was jumping up and down on Bakura's bed while the Thief sat in the desk chair half paying attention to what random show was on tv.

"Marik, stop jumping. You're gonna break the bed."

"How the hell do you break a- GAHHH!" Marik fell off the bed with a strange crunching sound.

Bakura spun to face him fast, more worried about what he landed on than Marik himself.

"What did you just fall on?" Bakura said with a warning tone.

"Ugh I put my arms out in front of me, but now they're all scratched up from the... legos? Bakura why the EFF do you have a pile of legos next to your bed?"

Bakura let out a tired sigh. "They're not mine, they're Ryou's. He likes to play with them when he's out."

Marik stood up and picked up one of the colorful rectangular objects and examined it. Then he got a mischievous smile.

"LEGO FIGHT!"

He screamed at Bakura, while hurling the lego, aiming for his head.

"Marik, no- AHH!"

Slightly off target, but still a hit.

Bakura examined the base of his neck, where the lego hit.

"What the bloody F*CK Marik! That's gonna leave a bruise you arsemunch!"

Bakura advanced on him with a knife that was hidden in his back pocket.

Marik had to think fast if he was going to get out of here alive.

"Look!" Marik yelled, pointing to behind Bakura. "Theres a sale on eyeliner!"

Bakura whipped his head around, expecting a magical eyeliner stand to be in his hotel room, but only saw the window. In his momentary lack of judgement, Bakura received a swift kick to his lower back, knocking the wind out of him.

Marik then ran to lock himself in the bathroom.

Bakura lay there on the floor and eventually fell asleep, and Marik fell asleep in the bathtub. It was a rough night for the both of them, and when they woke up they agreed that this whole incident had never happened.

* * *

As usual, the contestants were expecting no help from their mentors. As usual, this became reality the moment they saw the henchmen.

Alister was on his hands and knees with a rope tied around his neck. Dartz was holding the rope and was having an argument with Valon, who looked like a sheriff. Raphael appeared to be filming it all. A large green screen was behind them.

"I tohold yoo! I ahm the Gweat and Powafool Dartz!"

"And I'm the sheriff round these parts and you're goin' down," Valon paused to take what looked like a script out of his pocket, "outlaw!"

"Yoo'll never tahake me aliwve!" Dartz started running, dragging (and choking) Alister with him.

"Cuuut!" Dartz suddenly yelled. "Wapheal, yooz needs ta hold the micwophone higha so that evweywhan can hewr!"

"I'm not holding a microphone," Raphael responded.

The contestants, enthralled, watched the rest of the filming.

* * *

"Hewwo, Amewica! Dis is Amewican Idol!"

Everyone was singing on Tuesday this week. First, Trisha went. She was followed by Josh, Stella, and Mickey. They all did a relatively good job.

At this point, there was a break. Ryan was the only one on stage as Dartz had disappeared at some point during Mickey's performance.

"And now, our feature presentation!" Alister jumped up on stage. The movie they had been filming earlier in the week began playing on a giant screen. After the video, the audience was deathly silent.

"And now, I present the star of this film, the one and only Master Dartz!" Alister yelled.

Dartz burst out a stage, wearing a rather unique outfit. He snatched up Alister's microphone and began to sing.

I'm bwinging evil back (yeah)

Them other villwins don't know how to act (yeah)

I'll wipe out your wife pwoints with this next attawck (yeah)

So pway a cahrd and I'll pick up the swack (yeah)

Take 'em to the bridge

Cwazy foool (uh huh)

You see these cahrds

You know it's time to dool (uh huh)

The way my hair changes is pwetty cool (uh huh)

When I'm done you'll be in a bwood filled pool (uh huh)

Take 'em to the chorus

At this point, a guy with black hair in a ponytail tackled Dartz to the ground. It was none other than Duke Devlin.

"That's my theme song!" he said, "Sexyback" playing in the background.

Security guards dragged Duke offstage. Dartz never got to finish his song.

Melvin went next. A good chunk of Bakura's former fangirls went wild for him.

Riley and Gary went next, with Bakura closing out the night. He was slightly disgruntled due to less fangirls than normal.

"Vote now!" Ryan Seacrest instructed.

* * *

**I hope you liked the billions of page breaks there. Anyway thanks for reading, and Dynamite and Soup didn't have time to type up a message this time but told me to tell you guys they love you!**


	11. The Restaurant

**Heheheheheh... We're back! Sorry about the delay. This was supposed to be up Monday, but due to complications, it didn't get up until today. Thanks for all the lovely reviews. Enjoy!**

**We do not own Yu-Gi-Oh, American Idol, the songs used in this fic, or anything else you recognize.**

* * *

"Gahwee, yooz gowen bye bye!" Dartz wailed.

"What?" the contestants murmured.

"Gary is going home!" Ryan cleared up the confusion.

"Oooohhhhh."

Gary sang his song, and for some reason, the judges decided to save him.

To celebrate, the contestants went to a restaurant named SuperAnts the next day for dinner. The restaurant had a reputation of four star food, seven star prices, and two star service.

The group was seated and met their waitress, someone quite familiar to them.

Myranduh was back.

"Gary!" she squealed. "I can't believe you almost got voted off last night! I told everyone here to vote for you!"

"That explains his lack of votes then," Josh grinned. Myranduh shot him a dirty look.

"So what do you want to drink?" she asked.

"I want-" Trisha started.

"I was talking to Gary."

"Oh...," Trisha looked around at the table for help.

"I want pink lemonade," Riley said.

"We only have regular lemonade," Myranduh said dryly.

"Dammit, woman! I want pink lemonade!"

"WE DON'T HAVE PINK LEMONADE!"

"I STILL WANT IT!"

After ten minutes of pointless arguing, everyone's order had been taken. Much to Gary's delight, there was Sprite. It's just so hard to find a place that sells Sprite these days. Mickey and Trisha both ordered lemon with a side of water, Riley was supposedly getting pink lemonade, Melvin had ordered blood(type O), Stella ordered chlorine water, and Steve, Josh, and Bakura never got a chance to order. Myranduh walked away.

"I thought we were done with her when she got voted off," Josh whispered.

"I heard that!" Myranduh screamed from five tables away.

Minutes later, Myranduh returned with the drinks. She dumped both lemons with a side of water on Melvin's head. Then, she threw the Sprite at Riley and placed the pink lemonade neatly in front of Gary.

"This takes like fruit punch," Melvin complained.

"Well , sorry. We're not allowed to sell blood anymore," Myranduh told him.

In front of Josh, Steve, and Bakura, there was a rock, chocolate smoothie, and a martini in that order.

"How came he gets alcohol? He's not even 21," Mickey commented.

"Fine, I'll get him orange juice," Myranduh snatched up Bakura's martini.

"How am I supposed to drink a rock!?" Josh asked.

Myranduh walked away. "Suck it up."

"You didn't even give me a straw, bitch!"

Gary and Riley traded the pink lemonade and Sprite. Stella, Mickey, Trisha, and Josh had a conversation about whether to stay or run away now. Steve played tic tac toe with herself.

When Myranduh returned, she had Bakura's orange juice, another drink, and a plate of something. She dumped the second drink on Melvin's head.

"What is that?" Stella commented on the food.

"It's shrimp fondue. Your appetizer. Duh," Myranduh said.

"We didn't order any appetizer," Mickey explained.

"I don't like you," Myranduh glared. While they spent a few minutes looking over the menus, Myranduh tapped her foot impatiently.

"I want-" Gary began.

"Sweetie, I'll bring you something fabulous, don't worry," Myranduh smiled.

Everyone else ordered. Myranduh blatantly ignored Josh's questions about how to drink a rock. She also left before Bakura could order.

"I need a steak!" Bakura yelled after her. "Otherwise I'll eat Gary!"

"I'll have your head on a stick if you do!" Myranduh shrieked.

"Then bring me a steak and we won't have this problem!"

While they waited, everyone tentatively picked at the shrimp fondue. Stella seemed to be the only one who particularly liked it. Josh choked on a piece of hardened cheese he was unable to wash down with his rock. Myranduh briefly returned to dump another drink on Melvin's head.

An awkward silence prevailed until Myranduh brought out their meals.

Gary received a giant platter of lobster, Bakura got a 205 ounce steak, Melvin was given a haphazardly put together grilled cheese sandwich, Trisha got a bowl of unnaturally green soup, Stella was given a dog bowl full of water, Riley received an extremely burnt turkey panini, Mickey got the vegetarian special, Steve was given a bucket of hot sauce, and Josh received a giant rock to go with his "drink". Myranduh dumped a drink on Melvin's head once again and left.

"What's wrong with that?" Josh asked, pointing to Trisha's glowing green soup.

"I wouldn't eat that," Mickey advised.

"Mhmm," Stella nodded. "That's a highly volatile substance, especially when combined with stomach acid."

"And you know this how?" Riley asked.

"I like to blow things up."

Trisha pushed her soup off to the side. "I'll just wait for dessert," she decided.

Meanwhile, Bakura had just finished his steak. Everyone was looking at him in awe.

"Steve, you actually ate all that hot sauce?!" Trisha shrieked. Steve looked at her blankly and nodded. Melvin had an amused look on his face.

"Dessert," Myranduh sailed in with another drink to dump on Melvin's head.

"I haven't even finished this panini yet, which by the way is hard as a rock!" Riley exclaimed.

"Tell me about it," Josh moaned miserably.

"So do we want dessert?" Myranduh asked. Everyone nodded. "Oh, yippee. More work for me."

"I want-"

"People, people, people. By now you should realize you eat what I bring you," Myranduh stated flatly.

"I want something filled with sugar!" Gary said.

"Don't worry, sweetie. I'll bring you something fabulous." Myranduh left once again.

Everyone nervously awaited her return. When she did, they all screamed. Stella got ice served in a dog bowl, Trisha got suspiciously green, possibly radioactive ice cream, Riley got a slice of cheesecake, and Mickey was given a giant ice cream sundae. Steve got a piece of cake drizzled with hot sauce so strong it was eating away at the cake, Josh got another rock (medium-sized this time), Melvin received an oversized parfait, and Bakura got a chocolate mudslide. Gary was given an entire milkshake cake.

"What the heck is a milkshake cake?" he asked.

"I dunno. I just told the chefs to whip up something extra special for a super hot guy and this is what they gave me," Myranduh told him.

"Can I have sprinkles?" Melvin asked completely uncharacteristically. Myranduh dumped them on his head.

The milkshake cake turned out to be pretty good. Gary shared it with the others, since most of their meals were inedible.

Myranduh came back with the check. Bakura took it.

"It says $3, 624,896! How the bloody hell is that right?" Bakura exclaimed.

"Oh, oops. That's my cell number. Give it to Gary. Here's the real check," Myranduh handed it to him.

The check turned out to be $497.23. They gave her a $50 tip, which was probably more than she deserved.

After, they bolted. On the way out, Myranduh dumped one final drink on Melvin's head and charged them $2 for it.

As they were making their way hastily through the parking lot to their limo, Melvin stopped abruptly.

"I think I forgot something," he said as he turned around and started walking back towards the restaurant. After the rest of the top nine watched him walk in, within seconds they heard bloodcurdling screams. They thought it best to wait inside the limo for Melvin's return. A few minutes later, Melvin climbed in the limo as well, covered in blood along with the various liquids Myranduh had poured on him.

"We won't be hearing from Myranduh anytime soon," he said with a twisted face and a dark chuckle. Everyone was unsurprisingly ok with that. They then were driven back to their hotel to try to get some sleep.

* * *

It was the next day, and it was once again time for the top nine to get help from their mentors. They all walked into the dark waiting room fearing the worst except for Melvin and Bakura, who didn't really care. They found the room to be dimly lit, with a row of nine chairs facing a gigantic box with a big square cut in it. As soon as everyone sat down, a spotlight shown on the big box. Underneath the giant hole in scrawly letters read, "The Great Master Dartz's Puppet Extravaganza".

Everyone was extremely confused, until suddenly two hand puppets popped out, seeming to stand on their stage. They were exact replicas of Riley and Gary.

"What in the..?" Riley started, but he was shushed by Gary. The puppet show then began.

"It is I, The gweat and poweful Gawy Oak!" The Gary puppet said, obviously voiced by Dartz.

"And I'm Riley! I have a Lucario fetish and I sound like Kalin Kessler from 5D's!" This was said by Raphael.

Suddenly, a goth looking puppet appeared. In a high pitched voice, Alister said, "I'm Stella! And I'm in love with Riley!" The Stella puppet went to glomp the Riley puppet, but the Riley puppet put his hand up to stop her.

"I'm sorry, Stella. I cannot accept you. For Gary is the one I love!" Riley moved towards Gary, who also stopped him with his hand.

"Riwey, we awen't meant to bwe! Foh I am nawt gay."

"Oh."

Suddenly, all the current puppets dropped down, and four new ones appeared. It was Trisha, Josh, Mickey, and Bakura. One of the actors hands tacked a paper along the wall of the box that read "Hospital".

"Mickey, we must make our suicide pact! Or our love wont last!" Rapheal said in a high pitched voice while controlling the Trisha puppet.

"Yesh, Twisha! We must die to bwe tgwethah!" Dartz said, voicing Mickey.

Puppet Bakura started yelling at puppet Josh.

"What do you mean he's not gonna make it!? Are you telling me my husband will die!?" Bakura yelled, voiced by Valon.

"I'm sorry sir," puppet Josh replied, voiced by Alister, "but he's severely allergic to cats. And I regret to tell you, but you are part cat."

The puppets all gasped.

"Twisha, we must adopt this poah, gay, keety and waise him as our own!"

"Yes! It looks like killing ourselves will have to wait!"

The puppets dropped again, and were replaced by Melvin and Steve. The hospital sign was also changed to "Park".

"Mewvin!" Puppet Steve shouted, voiced by Dartz, "I cahnnot be with youz anymohe! Youz eez tahkin ovah my life!"

"But Steve! I am nothing without you!" Puppet Melvin yelled back, voiced by Alister.

"Its too wate, Mehvin! I haf founded sumone ewse!"

The Riley puppet popped up. Melvin puppet gasped.

"You've been cheating on me!?"

"Yehs Mewvin, but dere is a weason."

"And what would that be!?"

"I am a stwaight woman, and you are not reawy a man! I know aww about youzes sex change oparawtion back in '95!"

The Melvin puppet gasped again.

"Well you know what?" He replied, "I've been cheating on you!"

Puppet Stella popped up next to Melvin. Steve gasped.

"WE AWE OVAH, MEWVIN!"

"WE WERE OVER A LONG TIME AGO!"

The puppets dropped again.

"Park" was replaced with "Grocery Store".

Josh, Steve, and Trisha popped up. Josh and Steve were pushing the same cart and Trisha bumped into them.

"Oh, hello Josh." Alister said as Trisha.

"Hewwo Twisha." Dartz said as Josh.

"Who is this with you?"

"Oh uh... Dis eez my girfwiend, Steve."

"That's funny. You told me you broke up with me because you were gay."

The audience gasped.

"Wew, uh.."

"SAVE IT, ASS MUNCH!"

"Hold it honey, don't be insultin' my man!" Steve said, voiced by Valon.

The two female puppets started going at it, while the Josh puppet slowly backed away. Stella and Mickey had to break them up. Then the puppets dropped again and the next scene started.

"Grocery Store" was taken down and replaced with "House". Then, a puppet Marik appeared.

"I am Marik Sebastian Ishtar the third! I like thiefshipping and yaoi!" The puppet yelled, voiced by Raphael. Puppet Bakura appeared. Puppet Marik slapped him across the face.

"HOW DO YOU NOT LIKE THIEFSHIPPING!? ITS TOTALLY CANON!" Puppet Marik screamed at puppet Bakura.

Puppet Bakura, voiced by Dartz, replied with, "Becauwse, I am secwetly a Tendewshippew!" The crowd and puppet Marik gasped and the real Bakura gagged.

Then puppet Ryou popped up and puppet Marik punched him in the face.

"How DARE you steal my kitty!"

Then puppet Marik glomped puppet Bakura and a piece of paper got held up in front of them that read, "It is implied that they're having sex".

The puppets all went down, and the next scene started.

Melvin and Bakura popped up. The puppets started slamming into each other. They could be fighting, but because the scene was still "House", it was implied they were making out. Then Ryou popped up.

"YOU GUYS ARE PSYCHOS!" he screamed, voiced by Alister. The two stopped 'making out' and turned to face Ryou.

"YOUZES JUST JEAWOUS BECAUWSE I DAWNT LOVE YOUZ!" Dartz yelled as puppet Bakura.

Puppet Melvin looked back and forth between the two. Then, voiced by Valon, he said, "If I had to choose between being a psycho and dying, I'd rather die." Then Melvin started 'making out' with Ryou. Puppet Bakura started screaming. Then, puppet Marik showed up again.

Voiced by Raphael, he screamed, "I FEEL ANGSTY!'" and he threw off Melvin and stole Ryou. Then, the puppets shrugged, and the psychoshipping continued. At this point, the real Melvin picked up his Millenium Rod, unleashed the lightsaber, and tore up the stage.

"Show over." He said, seething with rage and a look of disgust on his face. The motorcycle gang trembled with terror as the split personality stormed out of the room. Everyone followed him out except for Bakura, who was throwing up violently.

It looked like once again, the mentors were completely useless.

* * *

It was the day of the singing. Ryan Seacrest walked out on the stage to roaring cheers from the crowd.

"Good evening, America! Tonight, we'll hear some random songs from out contestants today! And don't forget to vote- because two contestants will be going home tomorrow! So, without further ado, once again, your top nine!"

The top nine came out and sang and danced to some random song, and then all went up to the balcony. As it turned out, this week they'd be showing short videos of the contestants while they were in Hollywood. After the video played, the contestants would then sing.

None of the contestants knew of this until the night of the show, and were all really freaked out about the hidden footage American Idol was about to show the world.

The first contestant to go was Josh. The footage showed him in an intense ping pong match against himself. He had on sweat bands and was playing against a wall. He had no idea he was being watched, and was talking to himself while he played. The crowd erupted into laughter, and Josh tried to hide under the couch so he wouldn't have to sing. But the stage hands dragged him onto the stage, and despite being mind numbingly embarrassed, he sang quite well.

Next, it was Mickey's turn. The video was a clip of him having a staring contest with a chicken. Nobody knew how he got it, but the staring contest went on for a few minutes. Then, Mickey sang.

After he was done, it was Trisha's turn. She was on a date with Mickey. This disgusted everyone in the audience. After her was Stella. Her video was of her trying to blow things up in the microwave. Steve's video was next, and it was of her with a blank look in her eye, walking around the room and breakung things. It had gotten to the point where nobody really minded what she did when her eyes went blank, because she wouldn't respond to anyone. After her came Riley and Gary. Riley was reading Riolu a bedtime story, and Gary was training fisher cats and dumping vats of ketchup in a nearby river.

After them was Melvin. His video wasn't allowed to be aired because of all the violence and torture he did 24/7. So, they let him do a song parody of a song of his choosing instead. He chose 'Domino' by Jessie J.

I'm feeling crazed and angry

Like blood is raining me,

I'll control the albino,

And I'll watch his mind explode!

I can taste their blood like a pile of guts in the air,

now they're screaming and they're all running away from me now,

don't you know

Its your mind that I'll control!

(Mwa-ha-ha-haa!)

I could do this all night

Damn midriff shirts are skin tight,

Fangirls come on!

I could kill all of them,

Stabbing with a rhythm

Florence, come on!

(Mwa-ha-ha-haa!)

End all their lives with a trademark hug!

Let their screams echo throughout halls

Poison them with a toxic drug,

Take them down just like they're dominos!

Every killing is a highlight! When fangirls die, they can't let Fluffy go

Dirty murd'ring in the moonlight!

I'll take them down just like they're dominos!

You know that I've lost my mind!

Yet I get fans without even trying,

I am now an Idol star!

And the shadow realm ain't too far

I can taste their blood like a pile of guts in the air,

now they're screaming and they're all running away from me now,

don't you know

Its your mind that I'll control!

(Mwa-ha-ha-haa)

I can murder all night,

My leather pants are skin tight,

Fangirls come on!

I could kill all of them,

Stabbing with a rhythm

Florence, come on!

End all their lives with a trademark hug!

Let their screams echo throughout halls

Poison them with a toxic drug,

Take them down just like they're dominos!

Every killing is a highlight! When fangirls die, they can't let Fluffy go

Dirty murd'ring in the moonlight!

I'll take them down just like they're dominos!

Oh Fangirls, Fangirls, got me hugging so tight! ,(x3)

Oh Fangirls, Fangirls, murder in the moonlight (x3)

End all their lives with a trademark hug!

Let their screams echo throughout halls

Poison them with a toxic drug,

Take them down just like they're dominos!

Every killing is a highlight! When fangirls die, they can't let Fluffy go

Dirty murd'ring in the moonlight!

I'll take them down just like they're dominos!

The crowd loved his song, but they weren't entirely pleased with him being a serial killer. Next came Bakura. It was a video of him earlier in the week.

* * *

"Ugh, there's nothing to do," Bakura said to himself as he walked into the hotels restaurant. He walked up to the fish tank and started looking at the fish. Their swimming pattern started to annoy Bakura, so he started tapping on the glass. He was smirking to himself as the fish started freaking out, when suddenly, the tank started to turn black. He didn't realize there was a squid in the tank. More specifically, an insane kamikaze squid. Once Bakura was distracted with the ink, the squid propelled itself out of the tank and latched onto his face. Bakura began to scream muffled swears and stareted swinging his knife and flailing around the room, trying to get the squid off. People were screaming and running around to avoid the blinded Bakura, and so the dining room was quickly vacated. At this point, Bakura was now rolling around on the floor, still unable to pull it off his face. Melvin then came bursting in to the room, attracted by all the bloodcurdling screams of the people who he had yet to realize already fled. He took one look at Bakura rolling about and scrunched up his face.

"Eww, Florence. Tentacle porn? Really?"

As soon as he said this though, his eyes rolled back and his hair flattened. Marik came was taking over. He pulled out the millenium rod and screamed, "BAKURA! I TOLD YOU that the squid was evil and deprived of sex! But did you listen? Of COURSE not you FRGGIN FRIG!" As he was screaming this, he ripped off the squid and started beating it with the rod. Bakura watched in fascination as the squids brains and blood splattered everywhere.

When it was dead, he and Marik were thoroughly coated in a sickening mixture of ink and blood. Marik calmed down, and after a few deep breaths he said, "Wanna go scare some neighborhood kids?"

Bakura smirked. "Only if I get to stab their parents afterword."

"Ugh... fine."

* * *

Half of the crowd was throwing up, and the stench was so bad, the other half threw up as well.

Suddenly,the video and all the stage lights shut off.

Dartz was able to find a flashlight, so he looked into the camera and yelled,

"Even do Bakyuya didn't get to seeng, we wiw end da sow earwy todayyy! VOTE NOW!"

* * *

"Steve, I'm sorry, but you're going home," Ryan Seacrest solemnly said as the crowd let out an 'Aww'.

"Well America, that leaves us with our final two, and one of them will be going home."

"One mow teem, youzes bottom two ezz-"

Ryan Seacrest then cut off Dartz.

"Melvin and Bakura."

* * *

**Ohhhh a cliffhanger. Didn't see that coming did ya? Who's predictable now huh? Yeah. So I hope you guys liked this. I'm kind of mad at myself, cuz ghostfairy did the first bit and it was a lot funnier than my bit. *sigh* I'll get better for the next chapter! Oh and don't forget to vote! Melvin or Bakura... and the answer may surprise you. Mwahahahahahaha. Well, thanks again for all the faves and follows and reviews! They really mean a lot :) Oh and like I said, I'm in a bit of a rut, so some reviews on how to do better with this would be really great! Oh and one last thing- A big THANK YOU to Darkspirityami for her parody of Domino! YOUZ IS AWESOME! I hope to see all of you return for the next chapter! Love ya! **  
**Wham-bam- soup in a can**  
**DyNaMiTe AnD sOuP**


	12. The Amusement

**Happy Halloween! Thanks for all the reviews and support everyone!**

**We do not own Yu-Gi-Oh, American Idol, the songs used in this fic, or anything else you recognize.**

* * *

A hush fell over the crowd. Somehow the two fan-favorites, Melvin and Bakura, were in the bottom two. One of them would be going home along with Steve, and the other would stay and make the top 7.

Ryan Seacrest was on his 4th dramatic pause, when suddenly, he yelled, "And we'll be right back, after these commercials!"

The lights went back to normal and Melvin growled. He was not happy about being in this position. Bakura was pissed because they had been forced to stand for the past 20 minutes, and the kitty's legs were tired from chasing mic- Err, innocent pedestrians.

Dartz was angry at Ryan Seacrest for his 237 dramatic pauses, so when commercials ended, he ran up behind him and pushed him off the stage. For some reason, Dartz was also dressed as a cross between a goth cowgirl and a ninja hooker. It all became clear as to why though, as he then sang Lady Gaga's Born this way. The crowd was momentarily pacified, but Melvin and Bakura were getting more and more infuriated by the second. Ironically enough, Dartz kept the dramatic-ness going longer than Ryan Seacrest could have ever imagined. Finally, it was the last 5 minutes of the show, and the lights had been dimmed red. There was no more room for dramatic pauses, so Dartz was ready to out and say it.

"Da one gowen home eez-"

"WAIT!" A stage hand yelled as he ran out onstage holding a piece of paper. The crowd groaned in frustration, and Melvin strangled an unsuspecting victim.

"One of the contestants isn't an eligible participant!"

Everyone gasped. Dartz snatched the paper from the stage hand and gaped at it before pushing the stage hand off the stage as well. He was too shocked to move, so Ryan Seacrest had to pry the paper from his Atlantian-gothcowgirl-ninjahooker hands and read it for the world to hear.

"Well... It appears one of the contestants isn't old enough to participate."

Everybody immediately turned to look at Gary.

"What!? I was ten back in '95, I should be 27 by now!"

"That's not true though," Ryan Seacrest retorted. "You've actually been 10 years old for the past 17 years."

Everyone gasped again.

"No one expected that...," Bakura mumbled sarcastically.

"NO ONE EXPECTS THE SPANISH TECHNICIAN!" Melvin yelled. He had been observing Marik play bloodlines for far too long.

Gary took the mic, and he sang his own version of "I'm on a Boat"(conveniently located on YouTube).

Aw shit!

Get your Pokeballs ready, it's about to go down!

Everybody in the town,

hit the fucking deck..

but stay on your mother fucking toes…

(I'm running this, let's go!)

I'm Gary Oak!

I'm Gary Oak!

Everybody hates me cuz I'm Gary-fucking-Oak!

I'm Gary Oak!

I'm Gary Oak!

Take a good hard look, cuz it's Gary-fucking-Oak!

I'm Gary Oak, motherfucker take a look at me!

Your Pokemon will never beat my Eevee!

You're lookin' worn down, but I'm all set to go

You can't beat me mother fucker

cause I'm Gary Oak

Catch an Abra, trick

I'm Gary Oak, bitch

I've got a cheerleading team, 'Cause I'm so sick

I got my Growlith

And my Kribby Krabby

I've caught em all but your Pokedex lookin' shabby

I'm riding Magikarp,

Doing flips and shit,

The karp is splashin',

gettin errybody all wet

Yeah this is Pokemon,

this is real as it gets

I'm Gary Oak mother fucker don't you ever forget

I'm Gary Oak and I'm the best and I got a Safari Zone badass Kangaskhan I'm the best in the world I beat the elite fo' After you're worn down, you'll have to fight me-oh

(Hey Professor, this Oak is real!)

Fuck Ash, I'm Gary Oak, motherfucker!

Fuck teams, I got badges, motherfucker!

I drive a car, with my girls, motherfucker!

My Polywhirl makes whirls, motherfucker!

Hey Brock I know you'd get aroused

I brought nurse Joy a talking Meowth

Tonight she's gonna come back to my house

Like Team Rocket, we're blastin off again!

Yeah, I never though I'd fight Gary Oak!

He KO'd everyone of my pokes

Pokemon, caught by me!

Oh-whoah-ah-oooh…

Yeah, never thought I'd see the day…

When Gary finally walked awaaay…

But he said, "By the waaay… I fu-ucked Mistaaaayyy!"

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.. Oooh ah oh aaah….

Yeah-eh yeah yeah

Everyone was shocked and disturbed to hear a ten year old speak such foul language. So, he was booed off the stage.

Melvin and Bakura had forgoten about almost getting voted off, and they each went to their respective hotel rooms to sleep for the night and ready themselves for the sure-to-be insane next day.

* * *

The next morning, all the remaining contestants got up between 8 and 9:52, and none of them mentioned or cared about the last person that was voted off. The top seven now consisted of Trisha, Stella, Mickey, Josh, Riley, Bakura, and Melvin. They were scattered throughout the hotel lobby, doing random things and trying to figure out what to do that day. Josh was throwing jelly beans at the people who walked by him. Riley was playing Pokemon White 2 on his Nintendo 3DS, and was cheering because he had just caught a riolu. Stella was trying to blow things up in the microwave at the complimentary breakfast table. Bakura was eyeing the fish tank, waiting to see if another sexually-frustrated squid was going to attack him in revenge for its lost brethren. Melvin was sucking on a lollipop. A blood flavored lollipop. Trisha and Mickey were going through the travel brochures to see if there was anything nearby that the gang could do together. Trisha found one in the way back that was about an amusement park titled "Enchanted Forest". The brochure was fairly old, but it showed a lot of great pictures of all the cool rides the place had. Trisha showed it to everyone, and they all thought it was a great place to go for the day.

They all soon piled into the Steve-Mobile and headed off towards the place. It was about an hour away, and the ride was long and tortuous. Trisha and Mickey kept cuddling, which kept making Josh puke. Melvin kept switching in and out between Marik and himself, and each was either trying to kill Bakura or trying to make innuendoes about thiefshipping. Riley kept yelling about how his rival kept beating him in his game, and Stella was trying to build a bomb out of un-fizzy sprite and cucumber seeds. When they finally got there, everyone ran out of the limo like it was filled with electrically charged pepper spray.

They all looked up at the sign for the place. It was a giant horizontal rectangle that had the words "Enchanted Forest" in fancy blue lettering and a creepy picture of Humpty Dumpty sitting on the 'r' wearing a sailor suit. The sign also had a lot of weeds growing all around it, and the parking lot had overgrown grass cracking through the pavement all over.

"They should learn how to take better care of this place," Trisha said to no one in particular.

"I just hope the inside isn't as crappy as the outside," Josh replied.

They all rushed past the gates without paying and looked around in wonder at the theme park.

Or, they would have, if it wasn't completely deserted.

All the rides were still there, but everything looked worn down, grass was overgrown everywhere, and there was no one in sight. Melvin did not want to get back in the overstuffed limo right after getting out, so he laid an egg of an idea, and a plan was soon hatched. He took out the rod and sounded the Steve-Alarm. In a matter of seconds, at least 25 Steves showed up, like cats being drawn to the sound of a can-opener.

"Alright you f*ckers, I am NOT getting back in the limo with you all, and if it didn't jeopardize my chances of winning American Idol, I would have killed you all by now. Moving on, what I'm going to do is force these here Steves to work the rides and concessions for us for the day. In return, Bakura has to be my boyfriend and we are going out ten times!"

"OH GODS, NOT THIS NIGHTMARE AGAIN!"

"Shut up Florence, I was torturing you in a joking manner for my own amusement. HAHA! Look how stupid you look… No, in return, I require all of you to shut the f*ck up and look out the window the entire ride home. Is that clear?"

Everyone nodded nervously, except for Bakura who was banging his head against a pole, trying to get the nightmare that was Evil Council 4 out of his head.

They all decided to go on the roller coaster first. The coaster sat 10 people at a time, so the top seven were all able to fit. Right before the control Steve hit the button to start the ride, Josh screamed. He unstrapped himself and ran to the platform, clutching his head and yelling about a migraine. Everyone got off the ride to see what was wrong with Josh, except for Melvin and Bakura, who went to go strangle the Steve. As they were fighting at the control table, Steves filled in everyone's places on the ride, and the scuffle caused the "Start Ride" button to be hit. Everyone stopped in their tracks as the ride creaked to leave the loading platform, and watched as it made the incline to the top of the first hill which would make a 50 foot drop at a 45 degree angle. As soon as the ride started to go down, the cars began shaking violently. Everyone watched in horror as the cars flew off the track, spun in the air, and landed upside down, killing the ten Steves instantly.

After a few seconds of silence, Riley said plainly, "Holy shit. This is just like Final Destination 2."

Trisha Stella and Josh looked at him with scared, widened eyes. Mickey, Melvin, and Bakura just looked at him with confuzzlement.

"What the bloody hell is Final Destination 2?"

"It's a horror movie," Trisha whispered. Bakura perked up at this.

"Well, what's it about?" Mickey asked, looking increasingly nervous.

"It's a movie about a group of kids that go to a carnival. They get on the roller coaster there, and right before it starts, a girl has a vision of all the ride passengers and herself dying when the ride breaks. She screams about it, and her and a few other people get off the ride, being freaked out by what she just screamed. The ride leaves with the remaining passengers on board and her vision comes true. Then, the other people that survived with her when they got off the ride start dying one by one in horrific and bizarre ways. And they die in the order they would have if they had stayed on the ride. The point of the movie is that you can't cheat death, and it will almost always find you in the end." Stella said with a blank and scared expression.

"What do you mean, 'almost' always finds you?" Melvin asked.

"Well, if the order gets messed up in some way, death can skip over you."

"That never works in the movies though," Riley countered with. "So I think we should find a way to have people die in our places."

"Who would be dumb enough to sacrifice themselves for everyone else?" Josh agitatedly asked.

Everyone looked over at the hoard of mind slaves blankly staring back at them. They all put on smirks that would have rivaled Bakura's own.

"So, who's dying first?" Melvin asked with a smile.

"I figure the way that the car landed, the people who were sitting up farther front would have died before the rest, and went in that order." Riley mused.

"So who was sitting the farthest up front?" Bakura asked.

Everyone looked at Stella. She sighed in response.

"Alright, so how do I die?" She asked.

"Well," Josh began, "Usually, they die in a way that mimicked or had something to do with something that the person was doing earlier. So what were you doing earlier?"

"Blowing stuff up and trying my hand at amateur bomb making."

Everyone thought for a minute. Suddenly, Trisha yelled "I got it!"

She sped away with Stella and tow, and the rest of the finalists followed behind.

She arrived in front of the run down food building.

"Everything had to do with food right? So I bet you were supposed to eat something that went BOOM in your intestines!" The first of the sacrificial Steves was brought in.

"Now Stella," Trisha said, pointing to the inside of a cabinet filled with non-perishable food, "Which of these foods would you eat?"

Stella thought for a minute, and then pointed to a bag of goldfish.

Melvin ordered the Steve to pick up the bag. After everyone ran away to a safe distance, the Steve emptied the contents of the bag into his mouth. Within seconds, he exploded. Stella and Trisha cheered and high-fived, and then everyone went to some picnic tables to figure out who would die next.

"Ok, so next are Trisha and Mickey. What were you two doing before we got here?" Josh asked.

"We were looking for where to go today and hangin out." Mickey replied.

Suddenly, Riley looked up, followed by everyone else. They all smiled.

"I know exactly how you guys die," Riley said with a laugh.

Soon, they had all gotten to the platform where you could get on a ski lift to tour the park.

Two sacrificial Steves were put on board one and Melvin started the ride. Everyone watched with a smile and Mickey put his arm around Trisha as the lift unhinged from the wire and the Steves went hurtling towards the ground, ending their trip with a loud CRASH!

They all discussed it for a bit, and they realized that next to die would have been Melvin. After learning that all he did was eat a lollipop and annoy Bakura, no one was really sure how exactly he could have died. They started firing off ideas.

"Maybe the 'candy shoppe'?"

"Nah, Stella already died involving food, so it wouldn't be that."

"Wait a minute…."

"What, Trisha?"

"Melvin was switching out with Marik and he made thiefshipping references…"

"Yeah? So?"

"And then he was sucking on a-"

"Trisha, I see where this is going, so stop now before I murder you."

"YOU DISGUSTING FREAK!"

*vomiting noises*

"Sorry! I'm still a fangirl, y'know :3"

"The lollipop was blood flavored anyways. Your theory would have made some sense if it was sal-"

"Just stop right there."

"Wait… Blood flavored?"

"Yes, and it's wicked hard to come by these days."

"Wait a minute… THAT'S IT!" Riley yelled.

Soon, he had brought everyone over to the haunted house.

"Riley, you're brilliant!" Stella squealed.

"Not now, woman, I'm busy being incredible." Riley said proudly as he went into the haunted house. He immediately saw packets of old fake blood sitting on a shelf near the booth where people buy their tickets and enter. He knew that this had to be the place, and a sacrificial Steve was brought to him. They sent the Steve inside, and Melvin watched with laughter as fake blood was dumped on his head, and the thick consistency caused it to not come off and slowly suffocate him. 4 down, 3 to go.

Next, Riley would have died. This was hard to figure out, because all he did was play pokemon. This hardship was soon eradicated though, as they found a pokemon claw game, where you could win a plushie of one of the Unova starters. The fifth sacrificial Steve put in a quarter, and upon touching the joystick, he was promptly electrocuted. This also caused the machine to break, so Riley was still able to get a slightly crispy plushie of Tepig, Oshawott, and Snivy.

Next was Bakura. He had been fearful of being attacked by another sexually deprived squid, and was then annoyed by Marik and tried to be killed by Melvin. Everyone went to the petting zoo, where the fish tank had some surviving members, no doubt due to fishie-cannibalism.

Sacrificial Steve number 6 was forced to approach the fish tank, where Melvin abruptly pushed him in. Bakura watched with sickening fascination as the Steve was eaten alive as Marik came out for a split second to laugh at the Steve. There was no doubt that that would have been how he went.

Last but not least, Josh. The person who had the vision of how everyone died was the last to go. Well, he didn't have vision, but he was the cause of everyone being safe, so his death was going to be the most bizarre, rare, random, and brutal. They figured because he was throwing things, he would be at the game booth where you throw the ball into the bucket, but it always bounces out because of the con artists running the damn thing.

The Final Sacrificial Steve went up to it, and threw a ball in the bucket. As soon as he did so, a pole holding up the stand fell down and sliced off his left arm. Then, a paint ball gun from the adjacent stand fell off its placing and started firing at him. In the eyeballs. Then the Ferris wheel came off its stand and rolled him over. Somehow, the Steve was still alive after that, so one of the swings from the swing ride flew off its hinges from 30 feet away and smashed him in the head. Everyone watched with a smile as the Steve took his last breath, and they all ran out of the park as quick as possible, before anything else bad happened.

Because everyone stil had to hold up Melvin's bargain, nobody said a word on the long ride home, and as soon as they got out of the limo, they bolted to the safety of their hotel rooms. All except for Melvin and Bakura of course, who ended up having to share an elevator to go up to their respective floors.

"I really needed that today, Florence. Its felt good to see people murdered again."

"Same here though. I still find one thing funny, though."

"What is it?"

"The fact that no one realized I'm allied with Zorc, so I could have just asked him to not kill us."

The elevator was silent for a few moments. Then, the two evildoers started bursting out in maniacal laughter.

"Mortals, eh Florence?"

"Tell me about it." Bakura replied with a scoff as he got off.

"Wait a minute…" he said as he turned back around "If we're immortal, then who was Death after?"

Melvin just shrugged as the elevator doors closed. Bakura went back to his room to hit the hay, as he knew he would need some relaxation before he met with the mentors the next day.

* * *

Nothing could prepare the contestants for what was about to happen the moment they entered the waiting room to meet with their mentors.

A blur whirled past the contestants, tearing up the waiting room. Papers flew everywhere, chairs were knocked over.

Raphael suddenly appeared and grabbed the fast moving blur. It crashed to the ground, revealing that the blur was in fact Alister.

"The great and powerful Master Dartz is missing!" Alister howled in agony.

"I saw the bloke earlier in the avro," Valon said.

"We must find him!" Alister wailed.

"I'm not helping," Josh said and turned to leave. Riley and Stella followed.

"No!" From out of nowhere, the blur known as Alister blocked the door. "We will find Master Dartz!"

"I don't really care," Raphael commented.

Somehow, Alister managed to find a rope and use it as a lasso. He captured the entire top 7 along with Raphael and Valon.

"How did he do that?" Riley asked, amazed. "It was incredible!"

"To Master Dartz!" Alister cried in agitation.

Alister dragged the lassoed group out of the building. This proved to be problematic, especially when a doorway was involved. The group fought against Alister, but in his desire to find Master Dartz, he was able to drag them.

Alister led them down the streets, receiving multiple looks from people. Alister paid no attention, however. He was on a mission.

First, he dragged them through a nearby park. When Dartz was not found there, Alister walked miles to a beach. From there, Alister called a taxi and had them driven all the way to Rodeo Drive.

In a particularly overdone, at least in Valon's opinion, boutique, Alister asked the woman running the store if she had kidnapped Dartz. In response, the woman called security.

In another boutique, Alister thought he found Dartz, but instead it was just someone who looked eerily similar to him. The difference was that this person had purple eyes ands was named Yugi Moto. It took quite a bit of convincing on the group contained within the lasso's part to explain to Alister that Yugi was not Dartz. Just as Melvin and Bakura were about to finally kill Yugi by slicing off his head, Alister went flying out of the store so fast that Trisha got whiplash. Melvin and Bakura just missed Yugi's head by centimeters.

In the final boutique that Alister brought them through, Dartz was not there either. They all ended up leaving in ridiculous outfits. Josh was all dolled up in a wedding dress, Trisha was wearing a tuxedo, Stella looked like a Vegas showgirl, Riley was a drag queen, Mickey appeared to be a minister, Melvin was in a gorilla costume, Bakura was dressed as a cat, Valon was a mouse, and Raphael looked identical to the queen of England. Miraculously, Alister still looked exactly the same, minus the trash can on top of his head.

Alister trudged all the way back to where the contestants usually met the mentors. He released the captives from the lasso, and slumped on a fallen chair.

"Master Dartzzzzzz," he moaned.

Just then, a familiar hair color-changing leader of the Orichalcos walked through the doorway.

"What the- what is gowing ohn hewe?" Dartz asked. Alister launched himself toward Dartz, but ended up miscalculating the trajectory, crashing into the wall, out cold.

"I go to take a showew and dis is what happwens?"

* * *

Finally, after the long, grueling, insane week, it was time for the newest episode of American Idol. This week, the theme, once again chosen by Dartz, was songs from the 80s by artists whose names began with A and had green eyes.

As usual, everyone did relatively well. The only problem was when Bakura's fangirls got a cannon and launched themselves at him during his performance. Bakura was able to dodge them all.

"Now it's time for you to vote!" Ryan Seacrest instructed. Dartz attacked him because he wanted to end the show for once.

* * *

**Don't forget to vote!**

**Hey all! Happy halloween! Sorry this took so long, hurricanes and school work and all that. Thanks again for reading and reviewing and following and favoriting! It really means a lot :) See y'all next time! Oh and ps- ME AND GHOSTFAIRY MET DAN GREEN! Along with other voice actors from yugioh. They were so nice and funny and awesome. AND WE GOT PICTURES! Well, until next time! Wham-bam-soup in a can, Dynamite And Soup**


	13. The Thirteenth

**SO SORRY. It took forever to get this chapter up even though it was supposed to go up over a week ago. Anyway thanks for the reviews and hope you enjoy the latest installment!**

**We do not own Yu-Gi-Oh, American Idol, the songs used in this fic, or anything else you recognize.**

* * *

"Goooodbahye, Mickey! Yooz outtah heah!" Dartz howled.

"Nooooo!" Trisha fell to the ground, sobbing. She appeared even more upset than Mickey.

"Don't worry, Trisha. One day you can come see the cows at my house," Mickey comforted her.

"Gooooooooo," Dartz wailed apathetically.

The next day, Trisha was in super-ultra-depressed-mode-with-a-side-of-anger. She yelled at Riley for eating a pancake then broke down sobbing.

"It's all your fault he's gone!" she accused Stella. Trisha slammed her hands on the table the five were sitting at, spilling some salt.

Behind them, a chandelier crashed to ground, missing Melvin by inches. In retaliation, Melvin took out his chainsaw and used it on the chandelier.

Trisha's eyes were wide with shock. "What day is it?"

"Friday," Josh answered.

"And the date?" Trisha whispered.

"The thirteenth," Stella answered.

"Friday the thirteenth? That brings back memories," Melvin returned from annihilating the chandelier, cackling evilly. "Speaking of, where's Florence?"

Just then, a British voice could be heard loud above the clatter of the breakfast hall.

"Where the bloody hell did all these black cats come from?"

The others found Bakura squished in a corner, surrounded by a swarming mass of black cats. At one point they overtook him, Bakura disappearing under the sea of cats.

Stella and Riley went to go rescue him, while Trisha burst into hysterics.

"It's Friday the Thirteenth! First, Mickey left! It was totally an omen! Stella should have gone home, she's not important enough to stay! And now the cats! What's next?" she wailed at the ceiling.

"You forgot about the spilled salt and the chandelier falling," Riley reminded helpfully. Trisha glared.

"Bad luck tends to come in threes! The salt, the cats... Quick, let's go to my room and make it impenetrable to bad luck!" Trisha shrieked.

The others had nothing to do, so they followed her.

Once inside, Trisha tried to set up a game plan, but nobody really cared. Melvin had switched into Marik and was looking at himself in the mirror. Bakura was sharpening his knives, Stella was pretending to care, and Riley was looking at the "incredible" view from Trisha's window. Josh was rigging a bucket of water on top of Trisha's bathroom door so it would fall on her and hopefully knock her out.

"OH, FRIG!" Marik yelled suddenly.

"What now?" Bakura muttered, not looking up from his knives.

"I broke the mirror, Fluffy!"

Trisha gasped. "That's terrible!"

"I know, how the frig am I supposed to look at myself now? I guess I was so gorgeous the mirror couldn't take it and broke," Marik reasoned.

"You have to change this or you'll have seven years of bad luck! According to this website, if you touch the glass to a tombstone or grind the mirror to dust, it will reverse the curse!" Trisha exclaimed. Bakura perked up at "tombstone".

"'Kay," Marik carefully picked up the shards of glass and dropped into the complimentary paper shredder from the hotel.

The paper shredder fetched up and broke, spewing thousands of tiny shards of glass all over the room.

Marik shrugged. "There. It's powder."

"Look at this umbrella that just flew up to the fifth floor and in through the window! It's incredible!" Riley popped open said umbrella.

"Are you crazy!?" Trisha shrieked. "That's bad luck! We didn't need any more! Okay, that's IT! We are going to find stuff to counteract all this bad luck!"

"Mickey," Bakura said, causing Trisha to dissolve into tears. Bakura smirked victoriously.

For a few minutes, the group discussed what could bring them luck. Bakura mentioned something about rabbit's feet, mostly because he was interested about the prospect of killing something. It was agreed. They would go rabbit hunting.

As they were walking out of the hotel, Riley opened the umbrella once again. An angry woman snatched it out of his hands and accused him of stealing it. Then a piano fell from the second story, nearly crushing Riley.

In order to dodge it, he dove under a ladder. As he got up, he narrowly avoided being crushed by a falling ladder as well.

"So, rabbit hunting," Melvin had taken over once again, chainsaw in hand. Bakura had his knife out.

"Let's do this."

It took quite a while to get out of the bustling city. When the group finally made it to a rural area, their taxi driver ditched them, forcing them to walk.

"Wait a minute. We're in the bloody desert. Are there even rabbits here?" Bakura asked.

"Jackalopes," Stella suggested.

"They've been rumored to have caused the Trojan War!" Trisha commented through her tears, still mourning the loss of Mickey.

"That makes absolutely no sense," Josh said.

"Let's just kill a bloody jackalope and get out of here," Bakura said, aggravated. Melvin held up his chainsaw and turned it on in agreement.

"Okay, according to bananas/26$_6 _plum4%/how-to-locate/lope_desert_31?&_help, to find a jackalope, we have to imitate the call of a wild elephant, roll on the ground, then create a burrow," Trisha explained.

"You mean I can't just go around slaughtering all desert life-forms until I find one?" Melvin asked.

"It's the only way," Trisha answered defensively. "All the experts agree."

"Too bad." With that, Melvin went tearing through the desert, determined to make it devoid of all life. Even the occasional tumbleweed didn't stand a chance.

After hours of searching, they still didn't find any jackalopes. And much to Melvin's surprise, the desert was already pretty much devoid of life before he even got there. Being Egyptian, Melvin would have normally known that, but once you put a chainsaw in his hands there is no reasoning with him. After the hours of searching though, he knew when it was time to stop. Bakura would have helped, except he hated everyone and needed to stay under a parasol so the sun wouldn't make him as red as an erythrocyte.

The two walked back to where the limo was parked, except with one issue.

The limo was gone.

The remaining contestants seriously had the balls to leave them there.

Upon seeing this, Melvin dropped to his knees and in a very dramatic fashion, yelled to the sky, "CURSE YOU PHARAOH!"

**Meanwhile, at the unnamed hotel...**

"I still feel kinda bad leaving them alone in the desert," Josh said sheepishly.

"THEY SHALL PAY FOR THEIR CRIMES!" Trisha screamed at him. Stella looked at her as if she had lost all of her marbles.

Upon noticing the look, Trisha threw her bag of marbles at Stella. This resulted in a cat fight of sorts, and of course Josh and Riley sat back and watched.

Its a known fact that you let cats fight it out and not interrupt unless you plan on getting caught in the crossfire. Unfortunately, Lucario didn't know this rule.

A wild CATFIGHT appeared!

What will Lucario do?

-Separate them -Throw stuff

-Paralyze them -Aura Sphere

Lucario separated them!

But it failed!

CATFIGHT used Screech!

Lucario's defense fell!

Lucario threw stuff!

The CATFIGHT grew angry!

The CATFIGHT used Mega Punch!

Its Super Effective!

Lucario Fainted!

"NOOOOOOOOOO! YOU MONSTERS!" Riley screamed as he held his fainted Lucario dramatically in his arms. A dazed look came over his face.

Riley dropped $3567 in confusion! Riley blacked out!

Riley's scream was actually effective is stopping the catfight, and Trisha and Stella huffed and both walked in different directions. Josh was too stunned to move.

**Back at the desert**

"This is YOUR fault, Florence!"

"Oh please, if its anyones fault, it's yours. You just HAD to go jackalope hunting, didn't you?"

"Ugh, you are unreasonable! I'm going to torture you in the best way I know how!"

"Oh, what are you gonna do, hug me?"

At this point, Melvin put his head down.

Bakura became instantly fearful.

"Oh gods, Melvin, please anything but tha-"

"FLUFFY!"

**At the hotel again!**

"Well, what am I supposed to do now?" Josh said out loud to himself. He sighed. "Well at least the bad luck is gone..."

Josh really should have knocked on wood, for as soon as the words left his mouth, the universe put into motion more bad luck.

As Josh sat there, unwittingly dooming them all, he heard a sudden shriek. When he picked his head up however, he saw no one around. He got up and ventured down the hallway to the source of the screaming. When he got to the end of the insanely long hallway though, he found nothing. Shrugging his shoulders, he started back. But after getting a quarter of the way to the lobby, he heard a rumbling noise. He turned his head to see what it was, and what he saw came straight out of an Indiana Jones movie.

A huge spherical rock was rolling straight for him.

Know one knew how it had gotten there in the first place, but all Josh could do right now was run. And run he did.

When he finally got back to the lobby, he needlessly jumped out the window. Shattered glass went everywhere. The rock exploded. And before Josh could even say "What the Fuck!?", we cut to Stella.

Stella was putting banaids on from her catfight with Trisha. She had demanded from room service that they be the Scooby-Doo kind, but they only had Dora and Hot-wheels. So she made them scour the entire hotel for her favorite bandaid design, but to no avail. She was now begrudgingly putting on hot-wheels bandaids, as the Dora ones had on them the butterflies that she had fought in the 8 1/2 Revolutionary War of her homeplanet Zyphoid Process. It was a particularly brutal battle, and luckily the cheese-loving Datlorbodishanipopians had emerged victorious.

But that story is for another time.

After the bandaids were applied, she grabbed an incense stick (Dragon's Blood) and put it in her corn-shuck incense holder. After seconds of it being lit though, she heard a knock on her window. Not thinking about how she was on the 8th floor, she drew back her curtains and looked out the transparent glass. And what she saw made her ears protrude toothpaste.

The incense stick had drawn Mushu (from Mulan) to her window. He then told her she was to save China(Town). Then, suddenly, the Brave Little Toaster appeared beside him and told her she had to go with him to Mars.

And then Stella woke up on the floor of her room. The pain from the Catfight had made her so tired that she had fallen asleep as soon as she put on her bandaids.

"Oh, thank God, it was just a dream." Stella said to herself. She got up, fixed her hair, got a drink of water, and left the room. As soon as she closed the door, she looked out at the hallway before her.

It was covered in legos.

And she didn't have shoes.

As she was about to scream though-

We saw what Trisha was doing.

Trisha had made a memorial to Mickey in her closet, and was saying fangirl chants to try and bring him back.

It didn't work.

As she left her room, wiping away her tears, she heard a ringing noise. And then the sprinklers in the hall went off, completey drenching her. Apparently, it wasn't even a fire drill. The sprinklers just went off, and only on her floor.

It took Trisha a minute to realize the obvious, but when she did she was extremely annoyed.

"WE STILL HAVE BAD LUCK!" She screamed.

As she stormed to the elevators, she got even more pissed when one of them opemef and Stella was sitting on the floor inside. She also saw her feet were bleeding.

Despite her anger, she still got in the elevator with her. Getting rid of bad luck would take all the people she could find. That and seeing how bad her feet were bleeding, she felt bad for her. They were still friends, even if they were mortal enemies. She held out her hand for her crazy-haired friend to shake.

"Truce?" She asked earnestly.

Stella looked at her for a minute before shaking her friend/nemesis's hand.

"Truce."

As the elevator opened, the two left the moving box (Stella's feet still bleeding) to find the lobby looking like mess. It looked as though someone had just shot a scene from Indiana Jones in it. As they walked over to the pile of broken glass, they saw Josh come in through the window.

"We have GOT to get rid of this bad luck." He said with a murderous glint in his eye. The two girls nodded in agreement.

"Hey... Where's Riley?" Stella asked, worried about the man who would never reciprocate her feelings.

Josh pointed to the couch.

Riley was laying down taking a nap and sucking his thumb.

"He blacked out after Lucario lost," Josh said "and even after Lucario was healed he just kinda stayed there."

"Should we wake him up?" Trisha asked.

"Dunno." Josh replied.

"I WANNA KISS THE PRINCE!" Stella screamed, rushing over to him. Trisha stopped her by pointing out that he couldn't be kissed if he was sucking his thumb.

Riley was woken up by Josh poking his ribs.

Once they were all ready, Trisha laid out their game plan, which she called 'Start The Annihilation-of-Bad-luck'. Otherwise known as S.T.A.B.

**Speaking of stabbing... Oh wait, poor transition cuz Marik's out...**

"Marik, I'm not gonna water your spice garden while you go on a yaoi-fan-club trip to Yaoi-Con."

"But BAKUUUUUUURAAAA! What if the basil goes bad!?"

"Not my problem."

"Ugh.. youreluckyyourecute..."

"What was that?"

"Hm? I didn't say anything. You must be hearing things."

"Ah yes, mirages and all that."

"Well, luckily for me, I don't suffer them."

"Yes, because you grew up in bloody Egypt."

"'Bloody buggering wanker severous snape!' That's all I ever hear come out of your mouth!"

"And all I hear come out of yours is 'rainbows sparkles tanning yaoi I'M SOOOOOO GAY!'"

"I COMMAND YOU TO SHUT THE FRIG UP AS I HAVE NEVER SAID THAT AND NEVER WILL!"

"Marik... you're holding the rod in my face... have you had it this whole time?"

"Of course, why?"

"Did you try calling for some Steves to pick us up?"

"Uh..."

"Marik."

"Uh, um yeah?"

"Call. Them. NOW."

"Ok ok, geez. Your like a kitty who didn't get his milk."

"NOT A KITTY!"

***Fa da pa ya sa vaaaaaaaa***

"Ok guys, I think we did a pretty good job." Trisha said as she admired her and the others work.

Horseshoes hung on nails above every door. Thay had to run to the nearest stables and pull them off of horses hooves when the owners weren't looking. There were four-leaf clovers stringing across the walls. They had to scour the city for clover patches, and then comb though them to find four-leaf clovers. The whole process took a good two hours. Then there were hand-painted and bright red 7's all over the lobby's interior. And the piece de resistance was a contraption Stella had made that got pidgeons to poop on their heads, which was a sign of good luck where she came from. Just then, Marik and Bakura came through the doors, and everyone held their breath, as they though they'd be killed for ditching them. But all they did was walk by them and get into the same elevator. As they did that, Trisha got the nosebleed of a lifetime, as she hadn't had one since before she started hanging out with Mickey.

They all then went to their own rooms, getting some much needed rest after all their long days.

* * *

The remaining contestants went down to the mentors' room the following day, only to find them crying hysterically.

"What's wrong, guys?" Stella scoffed, "I thought Trisha was supposed to be the crybaby this week."

The reply she was given was a boot thrown at her head.

"We're all out of ideas on what to do to please Master Dartz!" Alister screamed through a sob. Nobody knew what to say to this, because no one actually liked them.

"Have you ever let that stop you before?!" Josh yelled motivationally. He received a rock thrown at him, and not even a straw to go with it.

"So why are you two crying about this?" Trisha asked confusedld to Raphael and Valon.

"Because," Raphael sniffled, " We won't get paid if he's not happy!"

Everyone let out collective sound effects as if they had seen someone get hurt. Except for Melvin and Bakura, of course. The two of them were too busy not giving a flying fuck to worry themselves with the problems of people they don't like.

"Here's an incredible thought!" Riley shouted over the crying with a tinge of sarcasm. "Why don't you actually do what you're here for and actually mentor us for once!"

The room was silent for a whole 3.14 seconds until the Doma burst out laughing.

"I'd rather be in a bingle beyond the black stump than do that, its just not my bowl a' rice." Valon said with a chuckle. As usual, no one understood what he said.

"Wait a minute... that's it!" Alister yelled. "We'll find a translator collar for Valon!"

"A -what-?" Raphael asked in bewilderment.

"Its like a collar where when you turn the dial on whoever is wearing it, it makes whatever the person says translate to whatever language you want!"

Valon stared at them all like they were crazy, then made a move to leave.

"I'm jus gonna shoot through, you all are about as useful as tits on a bull."

When he went to walk out though, Alister tackled him and threw him in a sack while he screamed, "You're whackas and yobbos, all a you!"

As they ignored him again, Rapheal closed his eyes and held the bridge of his nose.

"And where did you see this collar?" He asked Alister with a sigh.

"On an episode of Adventure Time."

"Adventure time?"

"Yes."

"You mean the cartoon show."

"Yep."

Alister received a swift kick in the stomach from Raphael, and Valon was let out of the sack. Raphael and Alister then started fighting.

"WHY'D YOU LET VALON OUT OF MY SACK!?"

"WHY IS EVERY OTHER WORD OUT OF YOUR MOUTH A 'THATS WHAT SHE SAID' JOKE!?"

"JUST SHOVE IT!"

"YOU JUST DID IT AGAIN!"

"YOURE JUST JEALOUS BECAUSE I HAVE A NICER ASS THEN YOU DO!"

"WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN!?"

"I DONT KNOW, I HEARD THAT GUY DUKE SAY SOMETHING LIKE THAT!"

"YOU LOOK LIKE YOURE WEARING A DAMN SPORTS BRA!"

"AT LEAST I DON'T HAVE CREEPY SIDEBURNS!"

This went on for a while, until all three Doma members had run out of oxygen (Valon was somehow put back in the sack) and they all laid on the floor in a mess as the contestants left to go find help elsewhere.

Once again, the contestants were forced to sing live on tv for the amusement of humans.

Unfortunately, some of the bad luck they acquired earlier in the week was still clinging to them.

Stella had to wear a trash bag because all of her clothes had mysteriously disappeared.

Riley tripped over the microphone cord of the cordless microphone and fell on his face.

Bakura fell of the stage and was swallowed up by a sea of fangirls.

Somehow, Josh ended up clinging to the ceiling for dear life after a run-in with a magician and had to sing like that.

Melvin ended up falling through a trapdoor in the stage that hadn't existed before his song.

Every good luck charm Trisha had assembled fell from the ceiling and crushed her during her performance, causing a gigantic pile of junk.

All in all, it was chaos.

Dartz attempted to close the show by having an encore performance of his "Born This Way" from last week, but luckily the cameras went dead.

* * *

**Thanks for reading! And we really need you guys to vote off characters since it's getting hard for us to pick who to get rid of. The poll is on my (GhostFairy's) profile!**

**Dynamite and Soup didn't have time to write a message...something about you guys punching them...I forget.**


	14. The Filler

**Enjoy this extremely short filler chapter that has nothing to do with the actual plot. There are no votes, and we don't know what to do yet. SO VOTE! OR SAY WHO YOU WANT GONE IN A REVIEW! SCREAM IT AT THE TOP OF YOUR LUNGS AND THEN POST A VIDEO OF YOU SCREAMING ON YOUTUBE! WE ONLY NEED A SINGLE VOTE TO CONTINUE! So yeah, vote, or there might be a few more scary chapters like this. **

**We do not own Yu-Gi-Oh, American Idol, anyof the songs in this fic, or anything else you recognize.**

* * *

The Doma Trio were sitting around the mentor room bored, as it wasn't their day to mentor the contestants.

Raphael was reading a book about a serial killer joining forces with a clown and learning what it means to make a fajita in the summer heat. Valon was reading an Aussie-English dictionary, because he didn't want to be stuffed in a sack again for not using proper English. Alister was writing a poem about his master Dartz.

All was peaceful when suddenly, Dartz burst into the room.

"Youzez gahta get outta heeeere!"

"Uhh... Why?" Raphael asked bewildered.

"Becuuuuuuuzzz... MY CWOWN WAS STOHWEN!"

"Your...crown?" Valon asked, trying his best at English.

"Yesh! Nawh youz all must go get it! Hew iz a wist of peeeooopleee dat cood haf taken eet!" He handed Alister the list and then strode out of the room.

"The first person on the list is... Jay Gatsby?" Alister asked in bewilderment.

Raphael and Valon just shrugged and donned their motorcycle gear as sexily as possible. Valon kinda pulled it off but the other two just looked ridiculous.

"So... were supposed to go back in time... and to New York City?" Raphael wondered.

"Hey, if Yusei can time travel, why cant we?" Alister replied.

They all got on their motorcycles and sped off down the empty road towards the desert. Once the three of them got up to 80mph, their bikes started to shake a little.

"WE HAVE TO GET TO 88 MILES PER HOUR!" Alister yelled. They all reved their bikes, and once they hit 88, they were gone in a flash of light and only 3 tire trails of fire were left.

They came out with a flash, and were now in the Valley of Ashes in 1920's New York near the train stop. A train started to pull up, and a bunch of people cane off of it. They immediately knew who Gatsby was, because nobody else wore that much gold fabric in the Valley of Ashes. They did go up and ask him, though.

"Are you Jay Gatsby?" Alister asked when there was less of a crowd of people.

"Why, yes I am, old sport. Would you like to see my degree from Oxford? Or maybe the tooth of a tiger I wrestled? Or possibly my collection of shirts that are so beautiful they make women weep?"

"Uhhh... no. Would you happen to possess the Crown of the King of Atlantis?"

"Unfortunately no, but I do have jewels from the south of-"

"No time, gotta go." Alister quickly said as he walked back over to Raphael and Valon.

"He doesn't have it," Alister said glumly as he crossed Gatsby off of Dartz's list.

"Well... who's...next?" Valon asked, consulting his dictionary for every word.

Raphael grabbed the list.

"Next is... The hippies at Woodstock?" They all shrugged their shoulders and got back on their bikes. After 88mph through ashes and another bright flash, they were now in the 60's at Woodstock.

This time, Valon asked people. It took him awhile because he need to ask a lot of hippies and also consult his book, but after asking everyone, no one had the crown. They did have a lot of drugs though, and were more than willing to share with the Australian motorcyclist. They checked them off the list,

and Valon kept the drugs in his pocket for safe keeping. They then went to the 3rd and final name on the list. Raphael read the name out loud.

"Santa Claus!? Oh you have got to be f*cking kidding me."

But still, they got back on their bikes and were transported to the North Pole.

As Alister still had on his weird sports bra thing, he was freezing his ass off. Santa was nice enough to give them all some North Pole Swag, and they stayed nice and toasty as Santa explained to them that he couldn't possibly have the crown, as he was f*ucking Santa Claus and only gives sh*t to people, not take.

After getting back on their bikes for the last time, they ended up outside their hotel where the mentor rooms were. Alister was crying.

"NOW MASTER DARTZ WILL HATE MEEEEEE!"

Just then, Dartz waltzed in. "What da fuck is wong wid you Awistah?"

"Well," he sniffled, "We couldn't find your crown!"

"My cwown? You fwiggin idiohts, I dahnt haf a cwown! Dat wuz joost sah you'd all geht outta ma face so I cood pwactice da song pawody I wiww sing next showawa!"

Valon and Raphael stood perfectly still. Then, Valon took out the drugs the hippies gave him, gave half to Raphael, and they both went off into seperate rooms while locking the doors behind them.

Alister looked up do Dartz from his knees and asked, "May I hear your song Oh Great Master Dartz?"

"You wiww... NEXT TAHM!"


	15. The Strangeness

**Apologies for this being late. There were a few minor complications. Thanks for the reviews and votes. They were awesome. Remember to vote after reading! And now, the next installment. **

**We do not own Yu-Gi-Oh, American Idol, the songs used in this fic, or anything else you recognize**.

* * *

Once again, it was the results show. Tonight, the final 5 would be announced. Ryan Seacrest was about to announce the contestant to be booted.

"And the one going home tonight is…"

The audience held their breath.

"….Trisha."

The crowd let out a collective "Awww"and shouts of "No!" as Trisha was handed the microphone to sing her final song. There were no more saves left, so the decision of her leaving was final. Josh and Riley were a little sad, Stella shed a single tear, and Melvin once again didn't give a flying fuck. Bakura, on the other hand, was ecstatic that his fangirl would finally be leaving and he wouldn't have to see her again. The hoard of Trisha fans loudly wept as she sang "Goodnight Goodnight" by Maroon 5. Trisha then got in a taxi, as she had lost her limo privileges, and went back to her day job of testing people to become US citizens and her night job of running an illegal soup factory.

The next morning, the final five were all told to gather in the lobby of the hotel. Once all were present, three men in black suits and sunglasses came in to talk to them. Two of them grabbed Stella and put a cloth around her mouth with presumably chloroform on it, and when she was knocked out they dragged her away. Then, the third spoke to the guys.

"Gentlemen, it has come to our attention that there are no longer any love interest possibilities on the show among you five contestants."

"Well what the frig does that have to do with anything?" Melvin shot back.

"What it has to do with, Mr. Ishtar, is ratings. Haven't any of you seen and/or read The Hunger Games? When there's a couple in a competition where only one can win, the ratings will skyrocket!"

Everyone looked at the strange man with confuzzlement, and then he explained further.

"What we're going to do to now is have a dating game of sorts. You will all sit behind screens with your voices disguised and we will ask you questions with Stella. Once the questions are over, she will decide which of you she will date for the rest of the show."

"But… none of us like her…" Josh said with annoyance.

"Well, you'll learn to."

"Hey wait a minute," Riley said. "Why are you doing this week instead of last? Last week there would have been two pairings with Trisha still here."

"Good question. That's because there was a medium sized fanbase that shipped Bakura and Trisha, so we didn't need to last week."

Bakura instantly regurgitated his breakfast of milk and bacon on the strange man's face.

The man disregarded the vomit and finished with, "We'll be coming back to pick you all up in three hours. Be back here by then or we will release the pictures we left in your rooms to the public."

The four guys all showed a look of confusion and shock as they all sped off to their rooms to see what the pictures were. After they all saw the pictures, the unanimously agreed to do the dating game.

EiEiOOOOOO

The four guys were put behind the screen, and their voices were filtered so no one could tell who was who. They would all also be answering questions in the same order each time so as not to confuse Stella. After a few minutes of sitting in silence, they heard Stella and the man walk in.

"Alright," The man said. "Let's start with the first question. 'What's your idea of the perfect girl?"

"Someone that loves hugs."

"A girl that is male and hot."

"Uhm.. Someone nice… and pretty?"

"Someone that loves Lucarios and Riolus more than life itself."

The man was shocked at how weird three of the contestants were. "Uh… alright. Next question- What's your idea of the perfect date spot?"

"The Shadow Realm."

"Anywhere where the Pharaoh's dead."

"An arcade..?"

"Iron Island, THE MOST FANTASTICAL PLACE ON EARTH!"

The man was starting to get scared, but figured he should just ignore it. "What's your favorite food?"

"Blood. Oh wait, that's not a food… Spinal cords."

"Crumpets."

"Pizza."

"POFFINS!"

Now the man was just flat out disgusted. "Ugh…." He looked to Stella, who had sparkles in her eyes as if she was falling in love with one of those psychos. "Ok, well I suppose we'll continue by asking you all individual questions. Number 1, what are your best qualities?"

"I kill people for a living, I command the shadows to do my bidding, my hugs are TO DIE for, and my hair is just amazing."

"Lovely. Number 2, what was the last book you read?"

" That would be The Count of Monte Cristo. I couldn't tell you the plot though, as my partner (in crime) kept distracting me while he was playing some blasted video game."

"Uh-huh. Number 3, Did you go to college? What did you major in?"

"…Dude, I'm sixteen."

"Interesting. Number 4, how do you have fun?"

"I raise Lucarios and Riolus on an Island in solitude. I also like to read peoples auras, as it shows their emotions and it's my own way of being a creeper."

"Fascinating." The man had stopped paying attention to their answers a long time ago.

"Number 1, How do you impress a date's parents and friends?"

"Why, I'd murder them of course! AHAHAHAHA!"

"Intriguing. Number 2, do you believe in love at first sight?"

"Oh gods yes…" Number 2 then went off into his own fantasyland that involved an alleyway and nearly getting hit by a motorcycle.

"Number 3, what's your idea of a perfect marriage proposal?"

"Dude. I'm sixteen. Why would I think about that shi-"

"ANSWER THE QUESTION!"

"FINE! I'D THROW THE RING AT HER AND SCREAM 'MARRY ME, BITCH!"

"That's nice. Number 4, what's your favorite scent that a woman could wear?"

"Lucario feces, for sure."

"Fabulous. Number 1, describe a time when you took care of a loved one."

"Not applicable."

"Ok, Number 2, what's the longest relationship you've been in?"

"I fused myself with a giant monster that had a dragon penis inside of an ancient Egyptian artifact for 3000 years. Or was it 5000…."

"Uh… Number 3, do you have children?"

"FOR THE LAST TIME, I'M SIX-FUCKING-TEEN!"

"Hmph. No need to be snippy. Number 4, how did your family celebrate the holdiays?"

"My pokemon and I strung lights around our house on Iron Island, we ate poffins all day, we opened gifts, then we took a boat to Canalave City and terrorized its citizens."

"Wonderful. Number 1, do you see the glass half empty or half full?"

"All I see is a blank wall. But I hear someone that's about to get stabbed in the chest."

"O-oh… Number 2! What is your favorite possession?"

"Probably my ring, because it's the only thing that's keeping me here and letting me enact my revenge."

"I'm running out of adjectives… Number 3, Do you give money to homeless people?"

"I don't even have any money myself! How do you expect me to-"

"Number 4, you have just been told you have a few months to live, what do you put in your will?"

"Gryffindor wins the house cup, Hogwarts goes to Harry Potter, My chocolate factory goes to Charlie, and Toon Town goes to the Toons!"

"Um….. alright…. Number 1, do you spend time on the internet? What site is your favorite?"

"Ah, yes. I enjoy trolling the masses on a little site called 4chan. Its where all of the evil in the world gathers at one place to destroy mankind!"

"Great. Number 2, who do you live with?"

"Marik Ishtar, my partner. In crime. Unfortunately…."

"I'm not even gonna go there. Number 3, what makes you laugh?"

"Watching people fall from high places and hurt themselves."

"Ok, Number 4, are you easily offended?"

"WHAT KIND OF QUESTION IS THAT? ARE YOU MOCKING ME? SON OF A BITCH, I WILL HM01 YOUR ASS!"

"Ok, I'm done here. Last question for all of you- describe yourself in one word."

"Evil."

"Gay."

"Chill."

"INCREDIBLE."

"Okay, now Stella, out of these four, who do you cho-"

"Number 4!"

"A-are you sure? You don't even wanna think about it?"

"NUMBER 4!"

"Okay, okay. Geez…. You have chosen…"

The sheet that held contestant number 4 lifted up.

"Riley of Iron Island!" The man yelled with fake enthusiasm.

Stella tried to glomp Riley, but he sidestepped and she missed.

"You are now my bitch, and you will only touch me when permitted! You now must go become the caretaker to all of my pokemon and cater to their every whim! If you don't know pokemonese, LEARN IT, BITCH!"

Stella nodded ecstatically and sped off out of the room.

"What a masochistic freak." Josh stated as the rest of them were released from the tiny boxes.

"I know right!?" Riley replied with a smile. The other three just walked away and went back to their hotel rooms so they could burn the embarrassing pictures the random guys had of them.

* * *

Dartz was in his happy place. The waves surged as his ship the S. S. Orichalcamalos made its way lazily through an unnamed ocean.

The S. S. Orichalcamalos was an obnoxious, apparently unsinkable cruise liner roughly the size of a department store full of miniature eclairs. It was the exact same color as Dartz's hair, which meant it was at least 1 billion colors, give or take a few million.

Anyway, Dartz was busy sailing his vessel into uncharted territory with his two most loyal crewman. They were also his only crewmen. These men were none other than Valon and Raphael.

For days, the crew had traveled from island to island, conquering each one and taking their treasure. So far the casualty level was about five people and 20 rocks, but regardless they still had quite a bit of treasure. Or they would have, had Dartz not tossed the vast majority of it into the sea as an offering to the Great Leviathan.

Now, however, they were done with their failed ruthless invasions of islands loaded with flesh eating turtles. It was time for their real mission to begin, to determine whether or not the world was triangular.

The ship plowed through the water at an alarming speed of 7 miles an hour. Innocent fish went flying out of the water and onto the ship to meet their unfortunate death by digestion.

So far, there had been very few hitches with their mission. These included Raphael contracting scurvy, Valon losing a tooth, and Dartz having a false pregnancy. That last one had been a doozy.

Still, there was no doubt in their mind that the biggest problem had been the day the ship had been attacked by a large herd of unrestrained wild kraken.

Not only did they have to sacrifice Zombie-boy, they had lost their entire hoard of pizza to the beasts as well. This left them with a small emergency ration of tacos that nobody would eat.

Luckily, there had been a pizza shop with a drive-through conveniently floating in the middle of the ocean.

Anyhow, the kraken were gone now and all was good On the S. S. Orichalcamalos.

Or so they thought.

The day had started out normal enough for Dartz, Valon, and Raphael. Rather well, considering the fact they had nearly collided with an unnecessary marshmallow floating in the water disguised as iceberg.

Afternoon, though, things began to go hideously wrong.

Maybe it started when Raphael tripped. Maybe it happened when Valon asked Dartz to go westward instead of north. Whatever it was, nothing could have prepared them for when the second ship pulled up beside them in the ocean.

The second ship was roughly the same size as the S. S. Orichalcamalos. It was a bright, gleaming red with purple splotches and blue and yellow zebra stripes. It was unmistakeable. No other ship could possibly look like that. The ship was none other than the S. S. Dartz.

Dartz gasped and took a step back. Somehow, his nemesis had managed to find him once again.

A plank was thrown from the S. S. Dartz, connecting the two ships. The crew from the S. S. Dartz, a gaggle of skeletons wearing black trenchcoats, marched along the plank and onto the S. S. Orichalcamalos. Without warning, they tossed sparkles in the air and performed a ritualistic dance involving piranhas. Abruptly, they turned to face the S. S. Dartz and bowed. Then they collapsed to the ground, revealing a figure crossing over from the enemy ship to the S. S. Orichalcamalos.

After waiting a few minutes filled with unease, the figure finally boarded the ship. It was a man with a large fancy coat with a purple top that looked suspiciously like a sports bra. His gray eyes swept over the scene with interest. One eye was covered with an eye patch.

"Ah, Dartz. Hello, hello," the man said.

"Awistawh," Dartz growled.

"Yes, it is I. The great and powerful Alister!" The man threw back his head and let out an evil laugh that echoed for seconds. "Did you honestly think you could escape me, Dartz? I, who stole the power of the Orichalcos from right under your nose! It was only a matter of time until I caught up with you. Now, all these hours of searching will finally be worth it!"

"Yoo'll nevawh tahke me! Go, Vawon! Waphael! Destwoy him!" Dartz wailed and ran to the safety of his cabin.

Alister just smiled. His crew of skeletons charged at Raphael and Valon.

Raphael and Valon fought well, determined to please their master. However, they were no match for the skeletons. While a few skeletons fell over the edge of the ship, it took mere moments for them to be captured.

Alister walked up to the captive crew members. "Join me, and you will be rewarded beyond your wildest dreams."

BANG!

The door to Dartz's cabin was broken open. Valon and Raphael came in, their eyes tinged with red.

"Did yoo defweat them?" Dartz asked, a coconut on his head. Raphael and Valon advanced toward him. Alister appeared in the doorway, looking bored.

Dartz realized what was going on and wasted no time. He threw a copy of The Great Gatsby (which he had been shocked to learn that it was _not_ about a ship) at his foes and disappeared in a puff of smoke.

Alister suddenly looked furious. "Find him!" he roared. "He can't have gone far!"

The ship was searched and torn up, but there was no sign of Dartz. An irate Alister led his pirate crew back to the S. S. Dartz, then proceeded to blow up the S. S. Orichalcamalos without a second thought. Alister began to sail his ship into the deepest, darkest waters in search of Dartz.

Meanwhile, Dartz had ended up on a small deserted island a little ways south of where the two ships had met. He saw the explosion, knowing that the S. S. Orichalcamalos had been destroyed, and howled in agony. He would get back at Alister, no matter what it took...

But what could he possibly do? He was stuck alone on an island. No matter what he had to build a ship so he could get off the island. Dartz ventured into the jungle conveniently located on the island in search of wood. He did not get very far when a spear nearly killed him.

Five people suddenly surrounded him. They were all dressed in fancy cheetah print clothes.

"Hiya," one said. This particular human was the only one not holding a spear, leading Dartz to believe that he was the one who tried to kill him. "I'm Josh."

"I'm Stella," the only female of the group said. She had a mysterious gleam in her eye. "This is-"

"Bitch, I can introduce myself! Don't do anything unless I tell you to!" one yelled. "I'll sic Lucario on you! Okay, now introduce me."

"...That's Riley," Stella finished.

The other members of the group were Melvin and Bakura. Both of them appeared as though they would like nothing better than to slaughter Dartz.

"So what brings you to my island?" Josh asked.

"YOUR ISLAND?! This is MY island. Iron Island and all its Lucarios and Riolus belong to me!" Riley exploded.

After arguing for a few days, Dartz was able to explain his predicament. Everyone seemed quite interested.

"I say we help him," Bakura grinned wickedly. "There's nothing I love more than a good fight."

"Yes, Florence! I do so look forward to murdering all those individuals," Melvin cackled. "There's nothing better than fresh blood."

"I no longwah hahve a ship," Dartz explained.

"That's okay! We have one!" Stella told him happily. "It's the S. S. I Love Lucarios!"

"I wasn't the one who named it!" Riley said loudly, his face turning pink.

And so, with his new crew, Dartz set off in search of Alister to seek his revenge. For days, thy sailed through cruel, unyielding waters until Melvin scared the ocean into submission. Then all was calm. Soon, they could see another vessel in the distance. It was the S. S. Dartz.

"Ohkayy," Dartz said. "Nawh, we neheed a stwategy!"

"No, we don't." Melvin fired the cannon towards the enemy ship.

It hit its target dead on. The S. S. Dartz was blown to pieces. Unfortunately, however, the ship had only been a decoy. Alister's men were in small row boats already on their way to the S. S. I Love Lucarios. They boarded the ship immediately and the battle began.

The skeletons raised their swords, but they were no match for Josh, who had absolutely terrible aim with a spear. Nonetheless, he still skewered many despite missing his actual target. Melvin had his chainsaw out and was having a blast. Broken bits of bone flew everywhere. Stella was blowing up every enemy she could find. Riley had a whole army of Riolus and Lucarios at his disposal. Bakura was having a great time sending his enemies to the Shadow Realm.

Stella and Riley teamed up to fight Raphael and Valon. Melvin and Bakura joined forces to take out 20 skeletons at once in a complicated strategical maneuver. Josh... Well he was sort of left to his own devices. The Riolus and Lucarios were having trouble containing their excitement. However, a few of the Pokemon did fall in the heat of the battle. Riley vowed to avenge them. He took out many skeletons in an apocalyptic rage, tossing quite a few overboard.

It seemed as though Dartz's side was winning the war.

Meanwhile, Dartz had gone after Alister. The two of them were fighting their hardest, both refusing to yield. Their swords clashed. The fight raged on for a few more hours and everyone was beginning to tire. Still, Dartz and Alister fought.

Dartz's crew (including the Pokemon), the remainder of Alister's skeletons, Raphael, and Valon sat down with popcorn to see who would emerge victorious.

In a flash, it seemed as though Dartz was ahead. He slashed Alister in the leg, who began to bleed profusely. Alister fell, but was up quickly before Dartz could do anymore damage.

"You're gonna have to do better than that," Alister laughed and charged back into battle.

Alister managed to stab Dartz in the arm, but the wound wasn't quite deep enough to do enough damage. Dartz sliced up Alister's face, a long, jagged line now bleeding from his temple to his mouth. These injuries weren't enough to stop the fighting, though. It was clear that this fight would be to the death.

Blood loss began to make both men a bit woozy, and they stumbled around aimlessly. They called a time out and had their respective crews patch them up. Then the fight resumed.

This time, things were more violent. Blood spattered everywhere. No one knew who it was coming from. Probably from both men.

"Tahme to finwish dis!" Dartz yelled gleefully. He attempted o stab Alister in the midsection, but missed as Alister quickly dodged. He continued to stab at Alister, missing each time.

Alister pinned Dartz to the ground, then with a swift movement brought his sword closer and closer to Dartz's neck until-

Dartz bolted upright in bed.

"Dahmn it! I hate it when Awistawh invwades mah dweams!"

* * *

**Hey all! So sorry about the delay! We had a ton of work in our classes and we were wicked overwhelmed. But, good news! Its all over now and we should update sooner next time. I may even do another sub-chapter because I feel like a turd. Oh, and I had my birthday on the 14th! I am now a proud 17 year old.**  
**I get the feeling you people don't believe me.**  
**Well, its true. And I can be as immature as I want! Hmph!**  
**Anyways, sorry for the wait, and thanks for staying with us! The final four will be revealed next time, so I hope you all vote!**  
**-Dynamite&Soup**


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